


Bad Moon Rising

by Trashland (Destieltrashland)



Series: Bad Moon Rising [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Creature Castiel, Creature Dean, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Injuries, Phone Sex, Slow Burn, Werecreature Castiel, Werecreature Dean, Werewolf Castiel, Werewolf Dean Winchester, Werewolf Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:30:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 40,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9661400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destieltrashland/pseuds/Trashland
Summary: His spoon clinked against the edges of his ceramic mug as he stirred another spoonful of sugar into his coffee.  His hand trembled and the hot liquid splashed over the side. He hissed when it hit his thumb.The call from Jody was as much a relief as a confirmation of his worst fears. He had bitten the man, that much was apparent to him now. The description she gave him matched his memories and made his stomach turn. He was relieved though; relieved that Jody knew the man, Dean Winchester, and that she was able to schedule this time for them to meet. If he had had to track him down through his jumbled recollections and the few snippets Gabriel saw, it could have ended badly.Not that it wouldn’t end badly anyway.How do you tell someone that you accidentally turned them into a werewolf?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> S/O to my muse [Moontourist](http://archiveofourown.org/users/moontourist) and to my friend [LizDarcy83](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lizdarcy83) for keeping me sane and on track with this one. You are the wind beneath my wings!

Dean couldn’t help the wave of nostalgia he felt as he watched his brother strip a long stick of leaves and extra bark. He could remember watching the twelve year old boy, with his long skinny limbs that grew too fast and his body that was just waiting to catch up, make the same practiced movements. He used a pocket knife to whittle down the end of the stick into a point and shoved it into the fire to clear off any splinters. 

“I’m not making one for you, jerk.” Sam said. His voice was lower now, deep, a man’s voice and part of Dean missed the cracked and softer boy version from all those years ago. 

God, he was a sap. 

“Whatever, bitch. Like I would want a half-assed skewer like that one anyway.” He scoffed. He wandered around the edge of the campsite, eyes on the ground, looking for a suitable stick for himself. The wind blew softly around them, rustling the leaves in the oak trees and carrying the scents of the forest with it. The sun was setting off to one side, Dean could just barely make out the pink sky through the tree line, and he had to squint to see the ground around him. 

“Need a flashlight?” Sam said, with humor in his voice. 

“No!” _Yes._

He finally found an acceptable stick and made his way back to camp, cursing softly when he stubbed his toe on a rock. He mirrored Sam’s earlier movements and stripped it, whittling the end, and shoving it into the flames. Sam already had a hot dog fixed onto the end of his and was twirling it above the fire. 

“I’m surprised Frank let us come out here again. When we were kids I got the impression he only did it because of dad.” 

“About that,” Dean said. He got a hotdog pushed down onto his stick and stuck it into the edges of the flames. “he never actually answered my messages.”

“What?! Dean, we could get arrested for trespassing.” Sam said. “I’m a lawyer – this isn’t funny.” 

Dean gave Sam an incredulous look. “It’s fine Sammy. Frank hates law enforcement; he would never call the cops on us. Plus, he has this whole place wired up anyway – probably has cameras on us right now.” He said, lifting one hand to wave into the trees around them. Sam groaned and ran a hand through his hair but didn’t say anything else. 

A few minutes later, Dean pulled his hotdog out of the fire and blew on the end of it. The skin was blistered and blackened in places – it made Dean’s mouth water. 

“Gross. You burnt it.” Sam said, making one of his patented bitch faces. He was still turning his hot dog just out of the reach of the flames. It was evenly colored with only hints of bubbling on the surface. 

“It’s a campfire, Sammy, you’re supposed to burn it a little. Look at yours! Might as well boil the damn thing.” 

Sam sniffed at his comment but didn’t respond. Dean got out a bun and slathered the hot dog in mustard and a squirt of sour relish before taking a large bite. 

“I’m glad you agreed to come.” He said through his mouthful. 

Sam grimaced. “You’re a pig.” He said. He took his hotdog off the stick and added ketchup to his bun. “Yeah. I’m glad too, as long as we don’t get arrested.” He flipped Dean off and Dean laughed, returning the gesture, “I think this is going to be good for you – the move I mean. Plus, you’re really helping Bobby out. The old man isn’t as spry as he used to be –“

“Don’t let him hear you say that.” 

Sam snorted a laugh. “True, retract that. But you know what I mean. He doesn’t trust easily, so you’re taking a big weight off of him by coming out here. He can finally let go a little, maybe take a day or two off each week.” 

“I’m not a miracle worker, Sam.” 

Sam laughed again and the sound lit something warm in Dean’s chest. He was going to miss seeing his brother everyday but he was right, Bobby needed the help and after all the man had done for the two of them when they were kids, Dean couldn’t say no. Plus, he did kind of miss it. California had been nice. The weather was always good, the beach was fun, and the girls were beautiful but there was something about living out here in the rough country that Dean had always connected with. He wasn’t a huge fan of South Dakota snowstorms, true, but the air was cleaner and the people more genuine, plus he didn’t feel like he stuck out so much with his torn jeans, flannel shirts, and greasy fingernails. 

He passed Sam a beer from the old green cooler next to him and opened his own, taking a long drink. He put another hot dog on the end of his stick and stuck it back into the flames. Sam just shook his head. 

“Why did we stop camping?” Dean said. 

“Cause you were too busy necking girls and I got hooked on Nintendo.” Sam said. 

“Necking, Sammy? God, what are you, eighty?”

Sam rolled his eyes again. 

Dean settled down on the dirt with his back to a log and stared up at the trees. The canopy above him was broken up by patches of stars and in one place he could just make out the moon, full and bright, beaming down on them. Sam hummed a tune under his breath and Dean grinned. 

“Is that CCR?”

“ _Don’t go out tonight, it’s bound to take your life, there’s a bad moon on the rise!_ ” They both sang in unison. 

They ate and drank companionably. The fire crackled and Dean held out his hands to warm them, though it wasn’t actually cold out. It was late August and fall hadn’t completely set in yet. 

Something snapped nearby and Dean turned his head. The sound came again, louder this time, something crashing through the brush, and he waved his arm in Sam’s direction. 

“You hear that?” He said. 

This area was known for bobcats and coyotes, neither of which Dean really wanted to tangle with, as well as skunks and raccoons. He pulled his knife from its clip and palmed it, looking around the site. It was too dark to see very far and the campfire light wasn’t helping much. 

“It’s probably nothing.” Sam said. He was busy attaching a new hotdog to his stick and Dean glared at him. 

“You remember that bobcat?” he said. The thing had been half starved, skinny and mean. Bobby ended up scaring it away with his rifle but Dean could still remember the color of its eyes and the eerie growling sound it made. He shuddered at the memory. 

“Dean, that was like ten years ago. Chill out. It’s fine.” 

The sound was louder now, a steady rustling and cracking of twigs. Dean stood, flipping his knife open. Sam followed suit, holding the pointed stick at his side, which Dean would have found laughable if his heart wasn’t racing. 

Behind them, a large shape was suddenly bounding into the light. The deer was female, tawny skinned, with the signature white marking of her species on her tail. She came barreling through the tree line in a zig zag pattern. Her large black eyes were wide as she ran. She sidestepped the fire but ran straight into the tent lines, getting tangled in the ropes holding it to the ground. 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean said. “Where’s the gun, Sammy?” 

“You’re going to kill it?” Sam said. His voice was high and tight with stress. 

“Not unless I have to.” Dean said.

“I think it’s in the tent.” 

Dean groaned. The deer was still thrashing, her long legs kicking wildly and only causing more rope to loop around her. One of the support poles was bent and the tent listed to one side. 

He approached her cautiously. 

“Alright now darlin’. I don’t know what’s got you spooked so bad but you need to calm down for me.” He said. He tried to keep his voice low and soothing – he didn’t know the first thing about deer but he was pretty sure most animals responded to a low calm voice. 

He grabbed one of the ropes in his left hand, holding it up and away from the deer, and began sawing at it with his knife. 

Then they heard it. 

A mournful howl broke the silence. Dean looked at Sam. He was at full attention now, his body tense and alert. 

“Is that-“ Sam started to say but another howl sounded close by. “Fuck! It can’t be!” 

“Stay calm Sammy. Let me get her free and maybe they’ll follow her off.” 

The deer was snorting now, its eyes rolling wildly. It cried out, a sad bleating sound that made Dean’s heart ache. He worked faster sawing through the lines. 

He was almost through the last one when it happened. 

The wolf darted from the shadows, its dark scruffy fur acting as the perfect camouflage. It ran swiftly on silent feet toward the deer, who screamed again. Dean turned just as it began to close the distance. The deer fought harder, struggling to get loose of the tangled ropes around its legs. The wolf snapped its jaws; its lips pulled back and its tongue bright red in its mouth. 

Dean knew he was too close and should move away but he really wanted the deer to get free and lead the wolf off. If it managed to kill her here, they would have a worse situation on their hands. 

He tugged at the ropes, tossing them this way and that and trying to help the deer out of them. He almost had it when the deer made it to her feet and pulled. He went flying, unable to drop the rope fast enough, and ended up sprawled in the dirt. The wolf lunged then, snapping at the deer’s legs and backside. The small hooves stomped near his head and Dean moved his arms to cover himself. He felt pressure and searing pain in his forearm and he cried out. 

“Dean!” Sam yelled. 

A gun fired and the deer broke free in the same instant. The wolf paused, and through the space between his arms, Dean could see it looking at him. It’s eyes were a rich blue and it seemed to study him for a moment before it ran after the deer. 

On the other side of the camp, another howl sounded. 

“Fuck!” Sam shouted. He was kneeling by Dean’s side in an instant, the gun still clutched in his hand. 

“I’m alright. I’m alright.” Dean croaked. His chest was burning, the air in his lungs having been knocked out when he hit the ground. “God damn deer pulled me down.” 

“It could have killed you!” Sam said. His face was pale and fear was etched into every feature. “You’re bleeding!”

He grabbed Dean’s wrist, pulling it into his lap and examining his arm. 

“It bit you! Shit, Dean. How? What the hell were you thinking?” 

“I was trying-“ Dean said. He tugged his arm away from Sam and held it up. Blood dripped down in rivulets from several puncture wounds. “trying to get the damn deer free so the wolf would follow it. Help me up, will ya?” 

The wounds were deep and they burned far into the muscle. Dean wondered absently what kind of diseases wolves could carry. The thing didn’t look sick but sometimes you couldn’t tell. Sam handed him the first aid kit and he pressed a clean gauze pad to the wound. 

“We need to get you to a doctor before that gets infected.” Sam said. He was already throwing things into their duffel bags. 

Dean ignored him for a minute as he rifled through the small kit in search of a wrap of some kind. “Thought you said the gun was in the tent?” Dean said as he watched Sam slip the weapon into the waistband of his jeans. 

“I was wrong.” 

Dean found what he was looking for and managed a semi decent wrap around his forearm, tying it off in a knot with his teeth. 

Sam stopped packing and turned back to him. “We need to call Jody.”

Dean groaned loudly and ran his good hand down his face. 

“We need to tell her what happened and we should probably have an escort out of here. You’re bleeding, Dean. Who knows what we’ll attract if we try to hike out in the dark.” 

As much as Dean hated to admit it, he did have a point. “Fine. But she is going to rip us a new one. And Frank might kill us if he sees the sheriff on his land.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Of all the stupid things!” Jody said as she smacked Dean on the back of his head. “What were you boys thinking?” 

Jody Mills had been the Sheriff of Sioux Falls for over fifteen years now and was also a close family friend. 

“Come on Jody. It’s Sammy’s last night and he won’t be back until Christmas. It’ll be too cold then.” 

They were crammed into her Jeep, heading out of the property and towards the nearest emergency room. Jody had been adamant that they leave their stuff behind and get Dean medical care first. She had promised it would all be safe overnight and that she would help Sam collect everything in the morning, before his flight. 

“So you trespassed on someone’s land? Why not just go down to the state park?”

“Frank knows us. He wouldn’t mind us being there. It’s where we went as kids,” Dean said putting his most sincere face on, “I was being nostalgic.”

“Frank Devereaux? Boy, he moved about five years ago. Just up and left – didn’t even tell anyone. There’s a new family living there now – the Novak’s.”

Dean grimaced when they hit a bump in the road and his arm jostled. The burning had subsided but now there was an ache in his wrist and elbow. 

“How the hell was I supposed to know that? Bobby never said anything, neither did Ellen.”

Jody snorted and shook her head. “He and Frank were never on good terms. Might not even know he’s gone; Bobby doesn’t really listen to the town gossip. Ellen listens but never spreads it. She’s good people that way.” She had a small smile on her face that Dean would have teased her about if he weren’t already in trouble. Jody and Ellen had been dancing around each other for years. 

“Have there been wolf sightings lately?” Sam said. He leaned into the front seat from the back, his long hair swinging forward once before he tucked it behind his ear. 

“No. None that I’ve received. They don’t usually mess with people at all, much less this late in the year.” She said. “Speaking of, I am going to have to file a report about this – we have to with any wolf incidents. Plus, I’ve gotta tell the Novak’s. They’re nice people, so hopefully they won’t press charges once I explain the situation to them.” 

Sam smacked him in the arm and Dean winced. 

Jody chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Now, tell me again, what did it look like?” 

“Big. With dark fur and blue eyes, like weirdly blue.” Dean said.

“And it bit you and then ran off?”

“Yes. Well, it bit me and then chased after the deer. I don’t think it meant to bite me, I just got in the way.”

“He was playing the hero and trying to get the deer free.” Sam added. 

Dean glared over his shoulder but Sam wasn’t paying attention. 

Jody didn’t say anything else but even in the green glow of the dashboard lights, he could see the wheels in her head turning. 

The emergency room was small but clean and Dean was hustled back into a room quickly. Dr. Moseley came in already shaking her head at him. 

“Haven’t seen you in ages and you can’t even come by for a visit before you come in here making me work!” she scolded him. 

The Winchesters had known her as long as Dean could remember. She had started out as their school nurse when they were little but had gone back to medical school a few years later. 

“I’m going to give you a round of shots – tetanus, a strong antibiotic, and some steroids for the swelling. We need to do a rabies vaccine too and I’m not going to lie to you – that one’s going to hurt. You’ll have to come back for booster doses but we’ll set that up before you leave.”

She patted his leg reassuringly and left the room. 

She was not wrong about the shots. The rabies one had to go directly into the wound and Dean could admit he’d gone a little green while watching it. It stung worse that the bite had and his whole arm felt on fire when they finished. They gave him a cup of water and some crackers and told him to lay down on the exam table for a while, just to make sure he didn’t have a bad reaction to any of the medicine. 

The wounds themselves didn’t even need stitches but the nurse cleaned them and put on another sterile dressing. She gave him a few to take home too. 

Three hours later and Dean walked out the door, a bag of prescriptions and gauze in one hand and a booster shot schedule in the other. Jody turned motherly eyes on him and pulled him into a hug. 

“You’re a moron but I love you.” She said. “Don’t do this again. You stay off that property.”

Her eyes were hard and he wondered why for a moment but he was too wiped to argue so he just nodded, letting himself relax into the hug. 

Sam had dark circles under his eyes and yawned the whole way back to Bobby’s. When they got there, they could see the lamp on in the front window. 

“You called him?” Dean said, turning incredulous eyes on Sam. He felt like he was sixteen again and being brought home for shoplifting. 

“Did you want him to meet us at the door with a shotgun? Of course I called him.” Sam said as he brushed past Dean and headed up the stairs. Jody followed behind, leaving enough distance between them that Bobby would see him first. 

The door opened before Sam could turn the knob. 

“What the hell do you think you idjits are doin?” Bobby said. Even though it was close to two in the morning he was dressed in a flannel and jeans with his standard trucker hat on his head. “You didn’t tell me you were going to Frank’s place. He doesn’t even live there anymore!”

Jody snickered as Bobby ushered them all inside. Sam walked straight past and headed up to bed. Dean looked on enviously. 

“So how many stitches did you get?” 

“No stitches.” 

“Rabies shot?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Ouch. Those things hurt like a bitch. Well, serves you right.” Bobby said. He picked up a clean tumbler off the side table and filled it with two fingers of amber liquid before passing it to Jody. He did the same for himself and they toasted each other before tossing the drinks back. 

“What about me?” Dean said, and he was definitely not pouting. “I’m the one who got attacked!”

“Yeah and I’d bet you’re on all kinds of medication that doesn’t mix with alcohol.”

Dean grumbled because even though it was true, he didn’t have to like it. 

“Alright. If you’re done with the third degree, I’m going to bed.” He groused. Bobby nodded. “Thanks again, Jody.” He said. She waved and finished the contents of her glass. 

“I better get going too. I’m supposed to be on in the morning. Got a hell of a lot of paperwork to fill out about this. Dean, I’ll bring something by for you to sign tomorrow.” she called after him but he was already walking up the stairs and to his bedroom.   
\--------------

He felt like shit. His whole body was achy and he thought he might be running a slight fever. He groaned as he rolled over and shut off his alarm. _Just great_ , he thought.

He stumbled out of bed and threw on last night’s clothes before heading out. Sam was in the kitchen, a mug in one hand and his phone in the other. Their camping equipment was piled up by the front door. From the stairs, Dean could see the mangled tent and he shook his head. The thing was a goner. 

“Mornin’ Sammy.” He said. Sam poured him a mug and passed it over. 

“Morning. You look like hell.” 

Dean glared at him. His head was starting to ache, a dull throbbing sensation behind his eyes. “I think my body is revolting against all of those shots last night.” He took a sip of the coffee and sighed at the comfort of the familiar warm liquid. 

“Well, I can always ask Bobby for a ride to the airport. You should stay here and get some rest.” 

Dean frowned. He wasn’t one for tearful goodbyes or anything but he’d still been looking forward to the extra forty five minutes in the car with Sam. 

The back door slammed, cutting off Dean’s thought, and he winced as the pounding in his head increased. The sound of heavy footfalls brought Bobby into the room. 

“Mornin’ boy.” He said, clapping Dean on the shoulder and reaching for the coffee pot. “You look like shit.” 

Dean grunted into his mug. “Seems to be the consensus this morning.”

“Why don’t you let me take Sam to catch his plane and you get back in bed? Don’t want you getting sicker or spreading your germs all over the house.” He said. 

Dean sighed. Going back to sleep sounded good – really good actually. He glanced over at Sam. “You sure?” 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dean. It’s fine. I’ll be back before you know it. Plus, it’s not like we won’t talk once I leave here.”

Rationally, Dean knew that but this would still be the longest the brothers had gone without face to face contact. 

“Fine. But you better text me as soon as you land and when you get home.” 

“Yeah yeah.”

They finished their coffee and said their goodbyes. Sam pulled him into a hug, his long arms wrapping him up tight. Dean would never get over how tall his little brother had grown. 

“Alright, alright, get off me!” he groused when Sam held the hug just a tad too long. Sam laughed as he pulled away. 

He headed up the stairs as soon as Bobby’s old truck pulled out of the driveway. He stopped by the bathroom to take a pain pill – something he’d forgotten to do when he woke up – before crawling back under the covers. The throbbing at his temples hadn’t decreased any and now the wound on his arm was throbbing too. He tried to ignore it as he settled into his memory foam mattress. Eventually the pain medication kicked in and he fell asleep.

He woke with a start when his phone began ringing, the chorus of _I shot the sheriff_ blaring from the tiny speaker. 

“Jody.” He answered. His voice was gruff and his mouth felt tacky. He grimaced, realizing he’d also forgotten to brush his teeth this morning. 

“Morning to you too sunshine.” She said. He could hear papers rustling and the general din of the sheriff’s station in the background. “You still have that dumb song as my ringtone?” 

“Of course.”

She snorted a laugh into the speaker and Dean smiled a little. He rolled onto his back and rubbed a hand down his face. 

“What can I do for you sheriff? I was trying to sleep. Not feeling so hot today, Bobby told me not to get germs all over his house.” 

She laughed at that and Dean could picture her shaking her head. “Well I want to let you know I spoke to one of the Novak’s and they won’t be pressing charges. Not this time anyway.” 

Dean let out a breath and felt a small amount of tension release in his shoulders. He’d been too out of it last night to really be worried but still, if something had happened it could have made big trouble for Sam. 

“Damn. Well, that’s a relief.”

“Yeah, it is.” Jody said. “One more thing, Mr. Novak wants to meet you, to talk about what happened. He suggested coffee down at Benny’s.”  
“Uh, yeah. Sure, I guess. Did he say what time?” Dean said. He really wanted to refuse. He felt like crap; it was almost as bad as when he’d had the flu last winter. Plus, he was tired from the move and the lost sleep last night. He knew he couldn’t though. The Novak’s were doing him a solid by not pressing charges. Not to mention, he really couldn’t blame them, if it was his land, he’d want to hear the story too.

“No. How about noon? I can call back and tell him.”

Dean glanced down at his phone, it was only ten, that meant he could get at least another hour of sleep in before he had to get ready. “Yeah. That works fine. Thanks Jody, I owe ya one.” 

“Put it on my tab.” She said.


	3. Chapter 3

When Castiel woke up it was to the sound of bird song and the light trilling of insects. The air was cool around him, a little crisp as the days turned toward fall but not too cold yet. He stretched languidly, feeling the slide of leaves under him and the soft grass that was still around. The sun was out but just barely and the grass smelled fresh and dewy. Somewhere nearby he could sense a small animal, a rabbit he thought, and it made his nose twitch. 

Phantom sensations from the night before still lingered and as he stretched, his arms and legs didn’t feel exactly right; too long, too straight. He rolled to his hands and knees, pausing to give himself a second to adjust. The first hour after waking was always the hardest, although it had gotten easier as time passed. 

He could still remember the way he’d retched and heaved, his whole body shaking after his first change. He’d thought something was wrong with him until Gabriel found him and told him differently. 

He stood on slightly wobbly legs and looked around to get his bearings. He recognized the trees around him and a small rock outcropping in the distance. He felt a swell of pride when he saw it and began his trek over. His supply bag was right where he’d stashed it the night before, tucked up under the rocks and out of the way of any potential rain. 

He pulled on the jeans and t-shirt he’d packed. The shirt was old and worn with holes along the collar but it was nice to have something soft on his oversensitive skin. No one was going to see him out here anyway. He left his shoes in the bag – the sensation of paws hadn’t disappointed fully yet and he’d learned over the years that the shoes would only make it take longer; his brain warring with what it felt and what it remembered. Bare feet left more room for a smooth transition. 

He grabbed a water bottle and drank deeply, the water helping to cool his parched throat. He snagged two granola bars, slipping one into his back pocket, and shouldered the bag. He ate the first bar in three bites, his stomach growling menacingly as he began his walk back to the house. It was sweet and salty with a yogurt coating on the bottom that he decided he liked. He would have to tell Gabriel to buy more of this kind. 

Remembering his brother, he glanced around but didn’t see or hear anything. Knowing Gabriel, he was probably still asleep. 

His walk to the house was a long one but it was nice. He liked the feel of his muscles under his skin, pulling against his newly reformed shape. He was always so aware of the way they stretched, the way the tendons flexed and moved after a turn. As he walked he let his mind go blank and focused on his breathing. He tried to picture his wolf in his mind. He’d only seen himself a few times in the reflection of a lake or puddle but he knew he was large with dark shaggy fur. 

He focused on that image, trying to pull his wolf to the surface, until he started to get glimpses of the night before. He saw Gabriel’s wolf – slightly smaller than his own with sandy brown fur and bright golden eyes – running alongside him. His nose twitched again when he remembered the smell of a herd of deer. He got glimpses of the hunt; stalking the deer through the trees, Gabriel’s howl when he cornered one and got her alone. He could feel the crunch of leaves and twigs under his paws as he ran. 

Then he smelled the subtle hint of wood smoke in the air, the sound of laughter on the wind. The next image was of two men sitting next to a fire. He couldn’t make out their features very well in the flickering light but he could smell them – sweat and body odor, chemical detergent and cologne, an oily smell too, and something salty and sour. Everything became jumbled then, a mess of loud noises, the smell of fear heavy in the air both from the men and from the deer. He could see her tangled in ropes, could feel the dirt under his paws. 

His heart picked up speed as the images came to him. 

He concentrated on the memories then, trying to take in more detail. He had charged the deer; he could feel his jaws snapping and taste blood on his tongue. He saw one of the men on the ground, the ropes a jumble of white behind him. He was holding up his arms to cover himself and blood dripped down one of them. The man’s eyes were green, wide with fear, and his pulse was racing. 

_Shit,_ he thought, _Oh, Shit! Was the blood his or the deer’s? Had he bitten someone?!_

He stopped walking and doubled over, sucking in gasping breaths. This was bad. This was very bad. 

_Why were the men out here? Was it possible they had strayed too far and ended up on public land?_

His head was spinning and spots danced across his vision. He had to calm down. He drank more of the water, swishing it around and spitting to get the phantom blood out of his mouth. His hands shook and the bottle crinkled in his grip. 

He had to find Gabriel. 

He broke into a run, shouting Gabriel’s name as he went. His voice was hoarse and sounded panicked even to his own ears. 

\------

Benny’s was a Sioux Falls staple, frequented by locals and tourists alike. Benjamin Lafitte, a transplant from Louisiana, had taken over the old diner ten years ago, much to the delight of the town. The food was delicious, the portions plentiful, and the prices low – plus, Benny was a friendly bear of a man who did his best to take care of everyone who came through the doors. Castiel liked the place immensely. 

His spoon clinked against the edges of his ceramic mug as he stirred another spoonful of sugar into his coffee. His hand trembled and the hot liquid splashed over the side. He hissed when it hit his thumb. 

The call from Jody was as much a relief as a confirmation of his worst fears. He had bitten the man, that much was apparent to him now. The description she gave him matched his memories and made his stomach turn. He was relieved though; relieved that Jody knew the man, Dean Winchester, and that she was able to schedule this time for them to meet. If he had had to track him down through his jumbled recollections and the few snippets Gabriel saw, it could have ended badly. 

Not that it wouldn’t end badly anyway. 

How do you tell someone that you accidentally turned them into a werewolf? 

He put his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths. The warm aroma of the coffee filtered up through his fingers and tickled the inside of his nose. Hazlenut. They hadn’t washed out the carafe well enough after the last batch and it still had faint traces of nutty sweetness in it. He blew a breath out in a harsh woosh. 

“Mr. Novak?”

He jumped. The voice was masculine and deep with a hint of hesitation about it. Castiel dropped his hands to his lap and shook his head minutely. 

“I’m sorry. You surprised me.” He said as he looked up. Green eyes met his, the same eyes from his memory. He raised his hand and the other man took it, shaking firmly. His hands had callouses on them, the palms rough. “Castiel Novak. Cas is fine. Please, have a seat.” 

The man sat across from him, sliding into the booth gracefully. He had a sharp jawline and a smattering of freckles across his nose, made more prominent by the pale hue of his skin. His mouth was full and plush and Castiel wished he could watch him laugh. His heart sank as he thought about the news he had to pass on. 

“Dean, uh, Dean Winchester.” The man said. He motioned to the waitress in a practiced way. Castiel guessed he frequented the diner too. 

“Yes, Jody told me.” At the mention of the sheriff’s name, Dean’s cheeks lit up in a blush and his eyes fell to the tabletop. 

“About that. I’m sorry man. I didn’t realize the land had changed owners or we never would have been out there.”

Castiel waved away the apology. “It’s fine, Dean. It was an honest mistake.” 

The waitress stopped by the table with a clean mug for Dean and a new carafe of coffee. Castiel smiled at her and she hurried off. 

“Thanks for not pressing charges. My brother is a lawyer in California, just started a year or so back and it would have really put him in a bind. I appreciate it.” 

He took a drink of his coffee – black, Castiel noted – before looking up once more. 

“Like I said, it was an honest mistake and there was no harm done. Well, except to you that is.” Castiel felt his own cheeks color at that and he picked up his mug to cover it. 

“Yeah. Jody said you wanted to ask some questions about the attack. I don’t know how much more I can tell you – we told Jody everything when we made the report.” 

“I’d really just like to hear it from you.”

Dean launched into his story and Castiel was immediately drawn in. He talked with his hands using large, sure gestures. When he described the blue of the wolf’s eyes he motioned toward Castiel’s own and for a moment his voice stuttered but then he charged ahead. Cas hoped that maybe Dean’s new wolf senses were already making the connection, subconsciously anyway. It might help him be persuaded. 

“Then the thing bit me.” He said. He held up his left arm and motioned to the bandage there. “I don’t think it meant to though. I mean, we can’t really tell what an animal meant to do or anything but it looked like it was just going after the deer and I got in the way. The whole thing was pretty stupid actually.” 

Castiel nodded. That part rang true for him. He had never known his wolf to be violent towards people. Usually he and Gabriel shied away from people when in wolf form, as had their parents. He’d only known one wolf who hunted humans, but he’d been put down years ago. He stifled a shiver at the thought of his late uncle. 

“Yes. What’s that old adage, they’re more afraid of us than we are of them?” Cas said. 

Dean’s mouth ticked up into a small smile. “Exactly.” 

The silence that fell wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. They stared at one another, Dean tapping his fingers on the edge of his cup. 

“So, uh, do you mind if I order? I’m not feeling so hot today – I think from all the shots they gave me – and Benny makes a killer tomato soup.” He said. 

Castiel shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you weren’t feeling well. We could have postponed this meeting.” 

Inside, Castiel felt his stomach drop. Flu-like symptoms were common after a bite and signaled that the curse had taken hold. A wave of guilt crashed over him. 

“Really, Cas. It’s fine. I wanted to meet you – it’s the least I could do.” Dean said. 

“I appreciate it, Dean.” He steadied himself. Now was the time – he had to get this over with. “There’s something I wanted to discuss with you actually –“ he started but then the waitress stopped by the table. Dean must have flagged her down when Cas wasn’t looking. 

“Hey Tessa, can I get a bowl of tomato basil and a grilled cheese. Thanks.” He said. The girl smiled at him, jotting down his order on a small notepad. “You gonna get anything, Cas?” 

“No, I’m fine with coffee. Thank you.” The girl walked away and Cas and Dean were left staring at one another again. His thoughts were a jumble after the interruption and he tried to straighten them out. 

“So what do you do, Cas? What brought you to Sioux Falls?” 

He blinked, his thoughts derailed again by the question. “I’m an accountant. I work for a firm out of Illinois, remotely.” He said. Dean was sipping his coffee and watching as he spoke. He could tell by the slight tilt of his head that he was expecting more, so he continued. “It was my father’s firm but he passed away six years ago and left it to my brother and I. We decided to move out here because we were sick of where we were. Too many memories.” 

Dean nodded, his face taking on a solemn cast. “I’m sorry to hear that, about your dad. Mine passed about seven – no, eight, years ago now. It’s tough. I can understand wanting to get away.” He looked down at his hands, wrapped around the ceramic mug. Castiel looked too. They were nice hands, with thick fingers and faint scars on the knuckles. “We did the same thing, in a way. After Dad died, Sam started applying to schools out west. He was accepted to Stanford, with a scholarship and I went with him – to look after him but also just to be somewhere else for a while.”

“It’s good you had each other. My brother, Gabriel, has been helpful in his own way. At times, it’s nice to have someone around who understands – who remembers.” 

The silence was heavy and it hung between them awkwardly. Dean was a stranger – a stranger that Castiel was about to give some of the worst news of his life to – he really shouldn’t be having a heart to heart with the man first. 

Before he could speak again a shadow fell over their table. 

“Hey brother, you’re not lookin so hot.” Benny said. He set a steaming bowl of deep red soup down in front of Dean, followed by a plate with a crisp sandwich on it, the edges gooey with melted cheese. “Heard about what happened to ya. You alright?”

Dean glanced at Castiel, who shrugged. 

“Who told you what happened?” he said. He unrolled his silverware, laying the napkin across his lap and picking up the spoon. 

“Like anything stays a secret around here for long.” Benny said with a deep chuckle. “Donna was in here telling everyone this morning. She had a whole crowd gathered around her.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Figures. Well I’m fine. A little sick today but I think that’s just from all the medicine Dr. Moseley gave me. That woman stuck me with practically everything she had – I’m sure of it.” 

Benny laughed again and patted Dean’s shoulder. “Well eat up, the soup’ll help. It’s good to see you around, Dean. I’m glad you’re back.” 

The big man left, meandering the long way back to the kitchen so he could stop and talk to each of the tables as he passed. Dean smiled after him for a moment before diving into the soup. He groaned after the first bite. 

“Seriously Cas, if you’re ever sick, get some of Benny’s soup. Stuff’s like magic. I feel better already.” 

“Yes, it is very good. I especially like the gumbo in the summer.” 

Dean nodded, his mouth full of sandwich, and gestured with his spoon. “The gumbo is awesome.” He mumbled. 

Castiel watched him eat, quietly sipping his coffee and trying to keep an amused look off of his face. Dean wasn’t kidding about the soup’s effect on him. His cheeks looked brighter already, the pale hue of his skin pinking up with each spoonful. 

Over halfway through the bowl, Dean came up for air, and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry man, I guess I was hungrier than I thought.” 

Cas waved the comment away. He knew he should say something, should get back to the reason he’d asked for this meeting but Dean looked so happy dunking his sandwich into his soup and humming a tune under his breath. He would let him have his meal in peace, he decided. 

“So, you said you followed your brother but did you go to Stanford as well?” he asked. 

Dean shook his head. “Nah. I went to community college and got an associates in business administration. I’m a mechanic but I thought it would help me if I decided to open a shop of my own someday.” 

“A very wise choice. Is that why you moved back? To open a shop, I mean.” 

Dean finished the last spoonful of soup and used the crust of his sandwich to wipe the inside of the bowl. “Not exactly. My uncle, Bobby Singer, owns a place here – Singer Salvage and Restoration. He needed some help and I offered to come back.”

“That was nice of you. Not many people would move halfway across the country for family – let alone do it twice.”

Dean blushed again and ducked his head. “Yeah, well, I was getting tired of California anyway.” 

“Ah yes, perfect weather three hundred and fifty five days a year can be quite taxing.” Castiel said. 

Dean stared at him for a moment before his face broke into a grin and he laughed. He looked good laughing, just like Castiel had thought he would. No matter what happened after this, he was certain that delaying the inevitable was worth it just to see that laugh. 

“Shut up, Cas.” Dean said but the words were full of amusement. He finished the sandwich and sat back in his chair. “Man, that was perfect. Just what I needed.” 

The silence this time was companionable and Castiel felt a fresh wave of guilt when he finally broke it. 

“Dean, there’s something else I need to talk to you about – the reason I asked you to meet me, actually.” 

Dean’s face was open and earnest. “Ok, Cas. Shoot.” 

Castiel took a deep breath and steeled himself. “This is going to sound outrageous but please let me finish. I will answer any questions you have after I’ve said what I need to say.” 

Dean nodded. 

“The wolf that bit you last night wasn’t just any wolf – wasn’t a wolf at all actually, not in the conventional sense anyway.” He stopped when he realized he was rambling. “What I’m trying to say is – Dean, I –“ He groaned in frustration, “I’m the wolf that bit you.” 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened to speak but Cas held up a hand to silence him. 

“Let me finish, please. I’m a werewolf – from a long line of werewolves actually, and last night was the full moon. My brother and I were out on the property, in our wolf forms, when we stumbled on your camp. The details are fuzzy but I think you’re right in your assumption that my harming you was accidental.” 

Dean’s face was full of disbelief. 

“The point is – werewolves can be created two ways; they can be born, if one or both parents are a werewolf already, or-“ he paused, lowering his eyes to the table. “they can be bitten.” 

Across the table from him, Dean laughed. It wasn’t the same laugh from before, no longer joyful, now it was laced with confusion and cautious humor. 

“Is this some kind of joke? What the hell are you talking about, man? Did somebody put you up to this?” 

Castiel sighed and raised his eyes again. 

“I wish it was a joke, Dean. I really do. The curse usually starts with flu like symptoms but you should be better in a day or so. You’ll start to notice your senses, especially smell, becoming heightened. You will feel agitated, restless, and then on the next full moon,” he kept his eyes steady on Dean’s, hoping he would be able to impart the seriousness of the situation through the look, “you will turn.” 

Dean shook his head, a humorless laugh falling from his lips again. “Right. I’m a werewolf now.” He said. He stared another moment, as if trying to read Castiel’s face, before his eyebrows pinched together into a look of concern. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

“It’s the truth.” 

Dean huffed out a sigh. “Is there someone I can call for you, man? Your brother or something?”

Castiel restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “Gabriel knows where I am, and what’s happened.” Gabriel had warned him that Dean might react this way; that he wouldn’t believe him or would think it was a joke. He took a deep breath. “Dean, you don’t have to believe me right now but please, take my card. The closer we get to the next full moon, the stronger your symptoms will become. When you want to talk about it – call me.” He dug in his wallet and pulled out his business card, quickly jotting his personal cell on the back. “Day or night – call me, ok? And if not, even if you don’t ever believe me, get somewhere safe on that day. Go to a locked basement or a remote area – not around people. Come back to our property if you want, but please, don’t stay home with your family. Most wolves won’t hurt humans but sometimes the newly turned ones can be – unpredictable.” 

Dean’s eyes, which had been looking around the room (probably searching for help) were fixed on him again. He gave a short nod and took the card. He glanced at it, concern still written across his features. 

“Yeah, ok.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean cursed and slammed his palm on the concrete. “Seriously guys, turn that shit down.” He bellowed. 

From across the room he heard Jo and Adam laugh. 

“You guys got a problem?” he said. He rolled out from under the Pontiac he’d been working on and leveled them both with a hard glare.

Adam straightened, his eyes darting away while Jo just smirked at him. “Ah come on old man, it’s not that loud. If I remember it right, a few weeks ago you were telling us to turn it up.”

Dean sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, cursing again when he felt the tale tell slip of grease as it smudged his chin. He stood, not answering Jo’s questioning look, and stomped off into the office. Bobby raised an eyebrow as he entered but didn’t say anything. Dean flung himself into the rickety chair behind the corner desk that he had claimed as his own. He pulled a clean rag out of a drawer and wiped his face with it. 

“Something on your mind, boy?” 

Dean sighed. Yeah something was on his mind; something big and unbelievable that he couldn’t possibly tell Bobby about. “No. Just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Uh huh.” Bobby said. He still had his back to Dean but Dean could picture the look on his face. “Why don’t you get out of here a little early today before you bite everyone’s head off?” 

Dean wanted to respond but then thought better of it. “Yeah ok. See you later Bobby.”

Bobby grunted a reply and Dean left. 

Rather than go home, he decided to go for a drive. He pointed the Impala west, out of town, and cracked the windows. The weather was chillier now, autumn in full bloom, but the crisp air felt good on his face. The hum of the tires and the purr of the engine were soothing to him and he felt himself relax minutely. 

Tonight was the full moon and he could admit it to himself – he was scared. At first, he’d blown the whole thing off; even felt guilty for not calling anyone to come check on Castiel after they left the diner. Then the symptoms started, just like the other man had said. One morning he woke up and could smell Bobby’s coffee before he’d even opened his bedroom door. He shook that one off because sometimes Bobby splurged on nice coffee brands and they smelled more strongly than the store brand grounds they usually bought. Then he started to notice other things; the sound of Bobby’s spoon clinking against his mug when he stirred, the way his sheets never totally smelled clean – always a little bit musty, and even his favorite foods started to taste different. 

He had picked up Castiel’s card several times, enough that the edges were curled a little and one corner was bent, but he’d never actually called. It had to be in his head, right?

The closer it got to the full moon, the worse it got though. Everything was too loud, too strong, too something. His skin felt tight and restrictive in a way it never had before. His muscles ached and were filled with phantom pains even while all of his joints felt loose and uncoordinated. 

He was hungry all the time. It reminded him of going through puberty again and he caught himself searching the internet for whether adults could have growth spurts. While he was online, he’d looked at werewolf lore, opening and closing his browser as each story fluctuated from unbelievable to possible if he really thought about it. There were no documented cases of the phenomenon and yet it showed up in several cultures across the globe and across time. That had to mean something, right?

He’d tried to ask Sam about it but couldn’t even get the words out. He’d told Sam about the meeting at the diner and about what Castiel had said to him. Sam laughed at first and then grew concerned, the same as he had. He’d suggested calling Jody but Dean couldn’t do it. Cas was weird, sure, but he wasn’t dangerous. Now, Dean wondered what would happen if he did tell Sam. He couldn’t worry him like that or drag him away from his life. So Dean had kept his mouth shut. 

He had wracked his brain all day, thinking about what Cas had said. He should get somewhere safe; somewhere away from people. Bobby had a basement and it even had a panic room in it with a big steel door. What excuse could he give for going down there though? 

He shook his head. He was a thirty year old man, why was even entertaining this shit? He groaned and shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

An hour later, he stopped for gas. He pulled Castiel’s card out of his wallet and looked at it again. He could call. He could go to the property and show the man that nothing was going to happen to him tonight; to either of them. He wondered if Castiel had told his brother about their conversation. Donna said they were pretty close, so he assumed Gabriel knew about the whole werewolf thing. 

When the pump finished he went inside to pay and grabbed a six pack. Maybe he’d go to the state park and just sit for a while, drink his beer, and wait for the moon. Then he could go home and rest easy, right? 

He headed back towards town. He should have just enough time to make it to the park before sundown. 

The drive seemed longer this time and he felt the prickling of anxiety on the back of his neck. This would make a great story later, he told himself. Hey, remember that one time some guy convinced me I was going to turn into a werewolf?

He hit traffic about five miles out of Sioux Falls and he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel while he waited. Up ahead he could see the flashing red and blue lights of a police car and could hear someone yelling. The acrid smell of plastic burning hit his nostrils and he rolled the windows up to keep it out of the car. Moments later he rolled them back down though as he started to feel too warm. Sweat beaded on his brow and at his throat. 

The sky was beginning to change colors, softening into twilight. He tugged at his leather jacket, pulling it off and tossing it into the seat next to him. The back of his shirt was damp. 

When the accident finally cleared, he lurched forward, that same anxiety still beating in his chest. He drove as quickly as he could, turning right just before hitting town and heading down the country road towards Newton Hills State Park. He looked at his beer forlornly, wishing he could have one now but not willing to risk it either. He wondered if this was what a panic attack felt like. 

He turned off onto a dirt service road that he had found years ago and parked in front of the locked gate. On the other side of the gate was a large storage building used by the rangers to keep maintenance equipment. This part of the park wasn’t used often and it was a ways away from the campgrounds. The rational part of his brain knew none of that would matter anyway but the little part that was filled with doubt hoped it was enough distance. 

He unbuckled his seat belt and opened a beer, downing most of it in one swallow. His throat felt dry, his skin hot and itchy. Through the trees the clouds were turning pink and purple at the edges. A breeze blew in through the open windows and he could smell dry leaves, moss on bark, and the fresh soil all around. Somewhere nearby he sensed something small and fast, moving along under the brush. 

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. His hands ached, his joints felt like they were swollen but when he looked down they didn’t look any different. He flexed his fingers around the bottle in his hand, felt the droplets of condensation run over his knuckles. 

He felt hot again, even with the breeze and the cold beer. He set the beer down on the floorboard and pulled his flannel off, tossing it with his jacket. After a moment, he took his t-shirt off too. 

He finished his first beer and opened a second. The light was fading all around him and the insects were louder than before; trilling, trilling, trilling. He opened the door but didn’t get out, turning his body so he could lean over his knees. He took a few shaky breaths. 

His stomach clenched and he dry heaved, spitting into the dirt to clear his mouth. The light was fading around him but he could still see, his eyes adjusting to the darkness as quickly as it fell. He groaned as another cramp hit him, forcing him to wrap an arm around his stomach. 

He dropped to his knees. His hands splayed in the dirt in front of him, fingers bent, clawing at the earth. His whole body shook and he groaned again, panting. His ears were ringing, the sound of the insects almost deafening now, and he shook his head to try and clear it. His heart beat a furious rhythm against his ribs; so fast he was sure he was having a heart attack. 

_This isn’t real. This can’t be real._

But it was. 

He felt it then, all in one quick succession. His bones popped, dislocated, and readjusted themselves. His muscles lengthened and shortened as needed, tendons stretched taut. He screamed in pain, writhing in the dirt. 

Above him, the moon shone brightly.


	5. Chapter 5

_Dean_ was the first thought Cas had when he woke up. He stretched, knocking the leaves off his torso and groaned. His wolf was pretty good about covering up before going to sleep in the cold but it was still never enough when Castiel actually woke up. Leaves were ok insulation but Cas would take a pair of sweatpants over them any day. He looked around, trying not to move too quickly, and found his bag right where he left it. This time it was within arm’s reach of him and he silently preened. He would have to tell Gabriel how much better he was getting at this. 

As he pulled a long sleeve t-shirt over his head, he felt another pang of worry about Dean. He hoped Dean had taken his advice seriously and had found a safe place to turn. He would have a hard time forgiving himself if Dean had hurt someone. He quickly pulled his jeans on and fished his phone out of the pocket. 

One new voicemail. 

Heart thumping in his chest, he hit play. 

The voice was frantic but still clearly Dean’s. “Shit, Cas. Oh fuck! God I hope this is the right number or this is going to sound insane. It is insane! I’m in the woods, in an empty cabin. I had to break the lock to get in – shit - I don’t know where exactly.” He stopped to let out a few harsh breaths and Cas unconsciously slowed his own breathing. Dean sounded like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. “I parked at Newton Hills State Park, down a service road and then I woke up in the woods. Cas, you were right. You were fucking right! What is happening to me?” He groaned loudly into the phone and Castiel almost thought he heard a sob but Dean had obviously covered the speaker so all the noise was muffled. “I need your help, man. Please, Cas.” He paused again and for a moment Castiel wondered if the message had ended but then he spoke. “Whatever you do, don’t bring Jody.” He said and then he hung up. 

“Fuck!” Cas said. He almost threw his phone but stopped himself in the nick of time. Instead, he dialed Gabriel’s number. 

“Gabe we have a problem. It’s about Dean. Call me back.” 

He drank some water, ate a handful of trail mix and shouldered his bag. He started walking towards the house as quickly as possible while typing out an email. 

_To: queenofmoons@gmail.com  
From: CJNovak@gmail.com_

_Subject: Need your help ASAP – very important!_

_Hey Red,_

_I need to find someone fast. He’s in a cabin, probably in or around Newton Hills State Park. Doesn’t know where but here is the phone number he called me from – 605-367-7097._

_I’ll send you more details if I get any._

_Thanks!_  
Castiel  


He stared at the phone for a moment, his finger stuttering over the screen before he hit redial on the missed call. 

“Hello?” Dean’s voice answered after the third ring. 

“Dean?”

“Sonofabitch! Cas! Did you get my message? Of course you did or why else would you be calling. Fuck, man. You turned me into a fucking werewolf!” Dean’s speech was rapid and just this side of hysterical. 

Castiel tried to stay calm. “I know, Dean. I’m sorry. I have someone working on your coordinates right now. Just stay where you are. Do you have something to keep warm?” It wasn’t that cold out but the first change could wreak havoc on a new wolf’s systems and he didn’t want Dean going into shock. 

“Dude, how is this even happening?” 

“I’ll explain as soon as I can, Dean. First, tell me, do you have something to keep warm?” 

“Yeah, there’s an old blanket here and a couch. It stinks but it’s better than nothing. Wait! How’d you know I was naked?” 

“It’s part of the turn, Dean. I’m sorry. I should have warned you.” He felt a stab of guilt at that but he’d honestly thought Dean would call him when the symptoms started. He’d known a few bitten wolves in his time and they’d all made contact with someone when the changes began. Dean must be more stubborn than most. 

“Yeah it would have been nice” 

“Is there any food or water there? It’s important to stay hydrated after the change.” 

“I found a couple old water bottles in a cabinet. They taste stale and gross.”

“Drink them anyway, please.” Castiel’s phone chimed, signaling a new email. “I’ve got to go but I’ll find you as fast as I can. Try to rest, ok?” 

“Yeah, ok.” Dean shuffled on the other side of the line and Castiel could picture him wrapping himself in the blanket. 

“I really am sorry about this, Dean but we’ll figure it out.”

Dean didn’t say anything else and the line went dead. 

Castiel shook his head and silently wished his dad was still around. Chuck would have known what to do in this situation and probably would have helped him prepare Dean better. He sighed and opened his email. 

_To: CJNovak@gmail.com  
From: queenofmoons@gmail.com_

_Subject: Re: Need your help ASAP – very important!_

_Holy cryptic email, Batman! I want details later but in the meantime, your boy is indeed in Newton Hills. Looks like a private cabin way out on the edge of the land. They mostly rent it out in the summers but they keep the phone on in case of emergencies – Lucky us!_

_Here are the coordinates, chief. HMU if you need something else._

_43.22444, -96.57972_

_-Your Queen_

\-------

The cabin was small but in good repair. Castiel could see the appeal of it right away; set way back into the woods, it had no real driveway or vehicle access so anyone staying there would need to hike in or use an ATV. A truly private little getaway spot. He knocked on the broken back door out of courtesy but pushed it open without waiting for a reply. Inside, Dean was sitting up on the couch, the tattered blanket around his hunched shoulders and bunched in his lap. At his feet, two empty plastic water bottles sat discarded along with a dirty looking towel. 

“Dean?” Cas said quietly. He didn’t want to spook the man. 

Dean looked over with tired eyes. “Hey, Cas.” 

“I brought some supplies.” He said. He pulled the backpack off and set it on the cushion next to him. “I hope these will fit but even if they’re a little tight, they’ll do for now.” He pulled the sweatpants and henley he’d brought out of the bag and tried to hand them over. Dean didn’t move. “Dean?”

The other man let out a sigh and then doubled over with his head in his hands. His shoulders shook minutely. 

“Oh, Dean.” Cas said. He dropped to his knees on the rough floor, ignoring the sharp sting of impact, and reached out for the other man. His hands soothed down Dean’s arms over the soft fabric but Dean jerked away. 

“Don’t!” he shouted hoarsely. 

Castiel pulled back. His heart ached in his chest and the guilt clawed at his throat. “I’m so sorry.” He said, his voice a harsh whisper. “I never meant for this to happen, Dean. You have to know that. And I’ll teach you how to cope, what to do. You can still live your life-“

Dean groaned and rubbed his hands down his face. 

“It’s not the fucking werewolf thing, Cas.” He said. “Not exactly - It’s this.”

Castiel held his breath as Dean leaned back, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders and exposing his bare chest. 

He was splashed in blood. It was dark brown; dried, cracking and flaking off in broad swaths across his chest and down his arms. His hands were clean, the blood at his wrists watery and faded. 

“I woke up and it was still dark in the trees. I didn’t really see it until I hit a clearing.” His voice was softer now, broken at the edges, “What did I do, Cas? Did I hurt someone?” When he looked up his eyes were glassy and he wiped at them harshly. He cleared his throat. “I can’t remember anything past the, uh, the change. Not until I woke up anyway.” 

Cas stared, still trying to process. He sniffed the air but could only catch the thick smell of iron mixed with sweat and the general mustiness of the cabin itself. 

“Memory loss is normal. That’s something I can teach you too. As for this-“ he waved his hand at Dean’s torso. Dean had a tattoo on the left side of his chest but the blood made it hard to tell what it was. A star maybe. “I don’t know. I can’t tell. It’s definitely blood but I’m not sure what from.” 

Dean’s head fell again, his hands hung limply between his knees. 

“It’s probably from an animal. I told you before, most wolves don’t hunt humans.” Castiel said with more conviction than he felt. Like he had told Dean; new wolves could be unpredictable. Fear sat like a stone in the pit of his stomach. 

“God, Cas. What am I gonna do?” 

Castiel gathered the bundled clothing from the couch cushion and pressed it into Dean’s hands. “Right now you are going to get dressed and come with me. We’ll go back to my house where you can get a shower and some food. Hopefully my brother will be back and he can help us or if not, I can at least start telling you some of the things you need to know.” 

Dean moved sluggishly but did as he was asked. 

The walk and drive back to the house were quiet and uneventful. When they arrived, there was no sign of Gabriel but that wasn’t surprising. Sometimes he liked to wander around naked for a while after the change and commune with nature – or so he said. 

While Dean showered, Castiel fried up bacon and eggs. He was buttering a stack of toast when Dean emerged, damp haired and pink cheeked, wearing the clothes from the cabin. He looked a little more alert than before but was still moving sluggishly. Castiel hoped the food would help. 

“I could have brought you more clothes.” Cas said. Dean settled into a bar stool at the kitchen counter and Cas passed him a plate and a glass of orange juice. 

“Doesn’t matter.”

They ate in silence for a minute. Cas cut through his egg, breaking the yolk, and then soaked it up with his toast. It was delicious. 

“I tried to find you, you know, after the diner.” He said. “I even asked around but I could never seem to pin you down again.” 

Dean nodded through his mouthful of bacon. “Yeah. I was avoiding you. Kinda asked some folks to give me a heads up if you were lookin’ around.” 

“Ah.” Cas said. 

“It’s fucking insane, Cas. I didn’t want to believe it and when the symptoms –“ he paused, picking up his fork and shoveling another bite of egg into his mouth, “When the symptoms really started I just couldn’t, ok? If I talked to you then it was real.” 

Castiel could understand that. Gabriel had warned him that might be the case but he’d really thought necessity would win out in the end. Apparently not with a man as stubborn as Dean Winchester. 

Silence descended again as they both finished off their plates.

“What now?” Dean asked. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I have a bad hangover.” Dean said, then added, “Confused. Freaked out.”

Castiel nodded. “That’s all normal. The hangover symptoms get easier with time. The first turn is always the worst, next time it’ll be a little better.”

“Next time” Dean groaned. He scrubbed a hand down his face. Castiel could see the shadow of a beard across his jaw and wondered absently what his own face looked like. He hadn’t even showered when he got home, just threw on shoes and packed his supply bag. 

“I know I’ve already said it but I really am sorry about all of this Dean.” 

Dean let out a breath through clenched teeth. “It’s fine. I mean, I’m pissed and all but I kinda get it too. Who knows what I did last night? This thing,“ he sighed, “It wasn’t your fault, Cas. Shit happens.”

Cas opened his mouth to respond but then the front door opened and Gabriel’s voice rang out. 

“Caaaasie, I’m hooome!” he sing-songed. 

“In here.” He called out. Dean raised his eyebrows. 

“Oooh whatcha cookin, good lookin?” Gabriel said as he sauntered into the room. He was dirty, with leaves in his hair, and completely naked. Cas sighed. 

“Gabriel.”

Gabriel stopped in the doorway eyeing Dean, who was staring at him with open curiosity. “Sorry Cassie, didn’t know you had company.”

“Did you check your messages?”

Gabriel patted his bare thighs and shrugged, “No pockets, no phone.”

Castiel let out a soft growl of annoyance. “Gabriel, this is Dean. Dean, my brother Gabriel. Excuse his nudity – he has no shame.”

“What’s to be ashamed of?” Gabriel said and threw Dean a wink. He walked around the counter and popped a strip of bacon into his mouth, groaning loudly. “So this is Dean-o, eh? You always did like them pretty.” 

Castiel felt his cheeks flush but he didn’t respond. 

“How’d the turn go?” Gabriel said. He was sprinkling cinnamon and sugar onto his toast, eyes darting between the two of them. 

“Sucked ass.” Dean answered and Gabriel laughed. 

“Understatement I’m sure.” He said. He licked the sugar off his fingertips. “So where’d you turn? Cassie was really worried about you last night, wouldn’t stop complaining that you hadn’t called.”

“Gabriel!” Cas said. He felt the heat of embarrassment rush through him but Dean didn’t seem to notice. 

“Went to a service road by the state park and – Shit, Cas, my car!” Dean jumped to his feet. “I left the door open and my keys – fuck, I don’t know where my keys are.” 

“They’re probably still there. You chose that spot because it’s secluded, right? Your car is fine.” 

“God I hope so. I can’t believe she sat all night with her door open. What if an animal got in there? Or water?” 

The look on Dean’s face was pure panic and for some reason it made fondness well up in Cas’ chest. 

“Let me get my keys and we can go find your car.”


	6. Chapter 6

“So what happened last night?” Gabriel said from the backseat. He’d managed to pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in the time it took Cas to find his keys and had insisted on coming along. 

Castiel was curious too, so he waited, hoping the silence would motivate Dean to talk. 

“I went for a drive, ended up at Newton Hills cause I couldn’t stop thinking about what Cas had said, about being away from people. Drank a few beers and then –“ he swallowed hard, “Then I guess the change happened. I don’t really know – I just know it hurt, a lot. This morning I woke up in the woods, naked, under a bunch of leaves. I crawled out, felt like I had the worst hangover known to man, and just started walking. I found a cabin and broke the lock, called Cas.” He ran a hand through his hair. It was soft looking and messy, Castiel kind of liked it. “I looked at your card so many times, man, I guess I’d memorized the number. I was so scared I’d gotten it wrong. I don’t know what I would have done then.” 

“You’re a very resourceful man, Dean. I think you would have figured it out.” Cas said. Gabriel chuckled from the backseat and Cas glared at him in the mirror. He had a sucker in his mouth and was rolling the candy along his teeth, grinning around it. “Can I tell him the rest of it? He can probably help.” 

Dean made a ‘go ahead’ gesture with his hand and turned to look out the window. Cas made eye contact with Gabriel again. “He woke up covered in blood, Gabe. His chest and arms.”

Gabriel stared at him, appraisingly. “Could you tell what from?” he said. His voice was surprisingly serious and Castiel was glad for it. 

“No. It was all dry by then. Plus with the change, Dean just smelled like sweat and dirt.” 

“Huh.” Gabriel said but when Cas glanced back, he looked deep in thought. 

“We could call Jody.” Cas said. 

Dean’s head whipped around, “No! Shit, Cas. How would you even explain it? Leave Jody out of this.” 

Castiel exchanged a look with Gabriel but dropped the subject for now. At some point they would have to look at missing person reports and check for people with injuries. 

“Get Charlie to find us a map. We can try to retrace your steps, hike around a bit and see what we find.” Gabe said. “Don’t worry, Dean-o. It was probably an animal. There’s still plenty of deer around and small stuff – raccoons or whatever. The wolves love to chase.”

“I told you. We’ll figure it out.” Cas added. Maybe Charlie could get the reports they needed. 

Dean went back to staring out the window. 

They found the impala right where Dean had left it. His jeans and boots were scattered by the driver’s side door. The jeans were torn beyond repair but the boots looked ok, just dirty and scuffed up with broken laces. Castiel didn’t know how he’d managed not to destroy them too. The car was fine but the battery was dead from having the interior light on all night. 

Dean mumbled apologies as he opened the hood and attached jumper cables. “Sorry, Baby. Didn’t mean to leave you out here like this.”

Gabe bumped against Cas’ shoulder as they leaned against his car. “It’s gonna be ok, little bro. We’ll figure it out. Maybe you can teach him your meditation stuff, see what he can remember.”

Castiel nodded. He felt responsible for Dean and even though the man hadn’t wanted his help before, he hoped he would accept it now. 

“Plus, Cas. You know what it’s like.” He was still watching Dean, a look of passive amusement on his face, “Even if he did bite someone, we can handle it.” He paused and his voice turned soft, “And if he killed them, well, we can handle that too.” 

Castiel shuddered at the thought. Most wolf bites were accidental, like Dean’s had been, and the wolf walked away without any desire to repeat the action. Wolves that killed humans were a different story. Once a wolf got a taste for human blood, a desire for it, there was almost no way to turn them back. Some packs locked them up during the change, keeping them chained for the good of everyone around. Other packs simply put them down. 

Dean started one engine and then the other, moving deftly between the vehicles. When the impala roared to life, Dean’s face broke into a grin. “That’s my girl!” Dean shouted. 

Gabriel whooped and Castiel couldn’t suppress his own smile, even as a cold dread pricked the back of his neck. Dean looked more like himself than he had all morning. 

“So what now?” Dean asked as he shut the hood to Castiel’s Continental. 

“I was going to suggest you coming back to the house.” 

“Actually, I need to go by the shop. I was supposed to work today. I need to talk to Bobby, probably work a few hours so we don’t get behind. Can I come by later?”

The situation was serious but they really didn’t have anything to go on yet. Plus, Castiel thought Dean might benefit from some time away. 

“That’s fine. We need to get some things in order anyway.” 

They exchanged phone numbers and Dean left. Castiel leaned back against the door of his car and chewed his bottom lip. 

“Come on bro, I can hear you overthinking things from over here. Let’s get back to the house and call Charlene.”

“You know she hates when you call her that.” Cas said. He could picture the scrunched up face their friend made whenever the name was used. He smiled softly at the image. 

“Duh, that’s why I do it.” Gabe said as he slid into the passenger seat. “Let’s go!”

Castiel sighed and climbed in. The whole way back to the house he was making lists in his head of things they needed to do and of things he needed to tell Dean. He had honestly never thought he’d be in this situation; never thought he would bite someone or have to teach someone how to be a wolf. The responsibility was daunting and he could feel the weight of it on his shoulders. 

When they got into the house he made a bee-line for the computer, booting it up and opening skype. It was still early in the day, not even lunch time yet, so he hoped Charlie would be online. When the program loaded, her name was there with a cheery green dot beside it. Castiel blew out a relieved breath as the call connected. 

Charlie’s smiling face filled the screen. She had her wavy red hair pulled back into a messy bun and was wearing a gray t-shirt with the star trek logo on the front. “Ready to fill me in on the big mystery?” she said in lieu of a greeting. 

“Not really.” Cas said. Charlie’s mouth turned down into a pout and Castiel rolled his eyes. “I will. It’s just –“ he paused, “Ok so, don’t get mad at me.” She narrowed her eyes at him but made a ‘go on’ gesture with her hand. “Last month, I kind of – accidentally – bit someone.” 

Charlie let out a shocked gasp but Cas held up a hand to stop her. “Anyway, his name is Dean and he had his first turn last night. He woke up in the woods and found his way to that cabin. He’s the one I was trying to find this morning. Thanks for that, by the way.” 

She waved off his thanks. “Yeah, yeah. Tell me more about Dean! Is he cute? How did you bite him? Did you know him before? How was the turn?”

Cas ran a hand down his face, noticing for the first time the scruffy feel of his own jaw. He still hadn’t showered. Mentally, he moved it to the top of his to do list. “Actually, I need something else and then I’ll tell you the whole story.” 

She eyed him suspiciously but finally shrugged and nodded. 

“Will you look up missing persons reports for the area from last night? Also, animal attacks or bites, police and hospital records if you can get them.”

She snorted a laugh, “Oh I can get them. Can I ask why though?” her voice dropped to one of concern, “Did something happen with Dean?” 

“We aren’t sure. He woke up covered in blood and of course, doesn’t remember anything. We’re trying to figure it out.”

Her eyes went wide at the mention of blood but then she ducked her head and looked away – presumably at another screen. He could hear her fingers clicking across the keys. 

“Well it’s too early for missing persons, most of the time they won’t take a report until someone has been gone for forty eight hours but I’ll keep an eye out. If it was a kid, we’d probably have heard by now but let me check anyway.” She squinted and pursed her lips as she scrolled through the information. “Yeah no missing kiddos – so, that’s a relief. Now let’s see about the bites-“ 

Castiel rubbed at the tension in his neck as he waited. He wondered how Dean was feeling. He tried to think back to his first turn and how he’d felt. It wasn’t exactly the same because had the benefit of knowing what he was and expecting it. He wondered how he would have felt if he woke up covered in blood. He also wondered why he hadn’t. He knew the wolf liked to hunt – he’d seen images of it many times. He guessed that he and Gabe must clean each other or else find a source of water and clean up there. He made a note to focus on that the next time he was meditating. 

“Yoohoo! Cas! You with me bud?” Charlie’s voice cut into his thoughts. 

“Yes. Sorry, I was lost in thought.” 

“Uh huh.” She said, “Well while you were off in lala land, I found some things for you. Haven’t gotten to the hospitals yet, that’ll take a bit more digging but I did get into the police records.”

“The police records are easier that the hospital?” Cas said incredulously. 

“Damn right they are. Police records can be searched by type of offense. Hospital records you’ve got to find a list of patients and just browse it or export it into another program in order to search. It’s a pain in the ass but totally doable with a little time.” 

He would have to send her a gift card when this was all over. “Ok Red, what did you find in the police files then?”

“Not much, but that’s a good thing. Wolf incidents, sighting or attacks, have to be reported to the parks service, so the records are pretty clear. There were a few reports of wolves howling in the park last night but no actual sightings – and honestly some of those might just be dogs. People don’t always know the difference. The only animal attack they have on file was two boys who tried to mess with a skunk but it just gave them the stink treatment and sent them packing. Ended up going to the sheriff cause the boys couldn’t find their parents and called 911. I bet they were pissed!” she said with a laugh. 

He groaned in sympathy. Gabriel’s wolf had gone after a skunk once. They tried every home remedy and store bought concoction they could find and Gabriel still stunk for a week. 

“I’m sure they were.” He said. “well, the rest of that is good news for us at least. Hopefully the hospital will pan out the same way.” 

Charlie nodded but her eyes were off screen again. He was always amazed at her ability to do three things at once. 

“One last thing. Can you find me a good map of the park? We want to try to retrace his steps, just to be sure, you know?” 

“That should be easy. Let’s see.” He could hear her rapid fire typing again. “Ok got it. Lemme mark the cabin for you and where’d you say he started from?” 

He described the location to her and she marked it as well. 

“I can’t thank you enough for this Charlie.” He said sincerely. “What would I do without you?” 

“Probably murder Gabe and then die of boredom somewhere.” 

He chuckled and she grinned. “Ok, now its story time! Tell me the whole thing, from the beginning! Like you should have done last month.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he felt a tiny bit of guilt for leaving her out of the loop. 

He took a deep breath and started the story.


	7. Chapter 7

He had been too out of it this morning to notice but driving up now; Dean could see that the Novak house was nicer than he remembered it. As kids, they had only been here once or twice – camping on the land didn’t mean they needed to go by the house, and Frank had always been particular about strangers. Dean remembered it as dark and overgrown, with blackout shades on all the windows and faded siding. Now, the house was clean and well kept, with new wood siding, stained a medium brown that blended in well with the trees. All of the windows were sparkling clean with drapes hanging inside. The gravel driveway crunched softly under his boots as he approached the small porch and when he reached up to knock on the door, it was already opening. 

Castiel stood there in clean jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt that brought out his eyes. That was something else he was too out of it to notice earlier – Castiel was just as good looking as the first time they met. Slightly shorter than him and built with lean muscle; even through jeans Dean could appreciate the other man’s thighs. He had a face that was straight out of every one of Dean’s fantasies; dark messy hair, high cheekbones, a well-defined jaw, and laugh lines around his eyes – a trait that Dean had never been able to ignore. He’d handled everything this morning really well too; calm and decisive. He’d kept Dean from panicking and that meant a lot. He thought once they got all this werewolf stuff settled he might actually like the guy. He shook himself back to the present as Castiel waved an arm and lead him inside. 

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey Cas. I brought dinner.” He held up the plastic bags full of styrofoam containers. “Hope burgers are alright.” 

“That was very thoughtful of you.” He said. 

They made their way through the space into the kitchen. The house was open, with wide plank wood floors and high ceilings. 

“Did you guys remodel? Cause I think I saw this place once as a kid and I gotta tell ya, it had a much more murder-shack-in-the-woods vibe back then.” 

He set the containers out on the counter and pulled up the same stool as this morning. Cas pulled three beers out of the fridge and took the seat next to him. 

“Yes. We made some changes. Took down all the wood paneling for one and got rid of the server room in back.” 

“Server room?” Dean said. He took a bite of his burger and groaned. Benny made a fantastic burger. 

“Yes. Mr. Devereaux was very security conscious apparently. He had cameras throughout the property all running through an internal network. Gabriel’s room was where he housed the servers and other equipment. My friend Charlie had a field day taking it all apart. She said she made a pretty penny selling the stuff online too – apparently it was not cheap equipment.”

“Yeah, old Frank was always a bit paranoid.” Dean said. He paused as Cas bit into his burger, a dopey grin plastered across his face. It was a good look on him. 

“These make me very happy.” He said. Dean laughed. 

“So who’s Charlie? You mentioned her before. Is she a werewolf too?”

Cas nodded around his next bite, taking a swig of his beer to wash it down. “She’s a friend from college – my best friend really and a computer genius. She’s not a wolf but she does know about us. Her adoptive parents were wolves and she figured it out somewhere along the way. She’s very smart.” 

“Cool.” Dean said. His mind was spinning with questions but he couldn’t separate one out. Cas seemed to understand. 

“She figured it out about me too. Said something about my “shifty eyes”” he raised his hands and did quotation marks in the air. Dean chuckled at the dorky gesture, “near the full moon gave me away. She’s the one who helped me find you today.” 

“Well damn, tell her I owe her a beer.” 

“She will probably take you up on that the next time she’s around. She lives in Seattle. Anyway, I had her look at missing person’s reports and injuries.” 

He gave a rundown of what Charlie had found, basically nothing, and with each item the tension in Dean’s gut relaxed a little more. 

“She also pulled maps of the park for us.” He ate another fry before wiping his hands off on his jeans and pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

He motioned to the screen, showing Dean a detailed map of the park, already marked with two red X’s. 

“She marked your starting point and the cabin. Do you have any idea how long you walked when you woke up?” 

Dean chewed as he thought. “Not really. I’d guess twenty minutes, maybe twenty five?” 

Cas nodded and tapped something on the screen. 

Somewhere in the house, Dean heard a door open and Gabriel appeared in the doorway a moment later. 

“Welcome back.” He said. He came to the counter and picked up the third beer, scowling at it before putting it back in the fridge and getting a new one. “What’s this?” 

“I brought burgers.” 

“A man after my own heart.” He said. He took the last styrofoam container and opened it, groaning before he even took a bite. “I might have to run away with you if you keep feeding me like this.” 

“Gabriel.” Cas said but he was still looking at the phone. 

“Wha’?” Gabe said through a mouthful of his burger. 

Castiel shot him a glare before turning back to Dean. “I estimated that you walked roughly a mile and a half, maybe two.” He said, he turned the phone around again and now there was a yellow circle around the cabin. It was bisected by green lines. “So this is the area you could have covered in that time. Somewhere in there is where you woke up.” 

“Ok, how does that help us?” 

“Well,” he chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, “To me, it seems logical that you would have been somewhere between the cabin and the car. You might not be aware of it but your wolf has a good sense of direction. It wouldn’t have gone too far away from your starting point. If the wolf ran past the cabin, you would have been over twelve miles from the car, not to mention outside of the park itself. I just don’t think it would do that.”

“He’s right.” Gabe interjected. He was dipping his fries into an impressive mound of ketchup, “Wolf wouldn’t go that far. No reason to, plenty of stuff to chase and smell before that.” 

“So is that what they do, just run around and chase stuff, like a dog?” Dean couldn’t imagine the creatures he’d seen in horror movies running around in the woods chasing rabbits. 

“Mostly. They’re a lot like real wolves, Dean-o. They run on instinct - hunt, sleep, play, mate,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Plus, the wolf is still you Dean. You knew you needed to stay in the park, to stay safe, so it did too.” Cas said. “So if we are all agreed then this area is where we should start to look. We can go back to the cabin and head out from there.” 

Dean was still looking at the map. This whole thing was surreal. He kept wondering if it was all a nightmare and at any moment he would just wake up. He resisted the urge to pinch himself. 

“We can’t cover all of this today, it’s almost nightfall already.” Dean said shaking himself out of his thoughts. 

Castiel smiled at him as he closed his empty take out container. “Actually, being a werewolf comes with a few perks. Enhanced night vision is one of them.” 

\---------  
Cas and Gabe let him walk out front, with one brother on each side. They told him to trust his instincts and let the wolf guide him. He wasn’t sure how successful he was at doing that but he tried, holding back his frustration as much as he could. He followed his gut as they meandered through the trees. 

They found nothing for a long time and to Dean it seemed like they were going in circles. At least Cas had been right about the night vision. Dean’s flashlight hung heavy in his jacket pocket bumping against his hip as he walked. 

He was about to suggest turning around when they stumbled into a clearing. Dean stopped to examine the area. 

“This might be it.” He said. He felt a small burst of hope in his chest. 

“Where you woke up?” Cas’ voice came to him from the dark. 

“No, where I first noticed the blood. So It’s gotta be somewhere close by.” 

“Good.” Cas said and he pulled out his phone. The light of the screen was bright and Dean felt momentarily disoriented. Spots danced in his eyes when he looked away. 

“Warn a guy next time!” Gabe grumbled from nearby. 

“Sorry. I wanted to mark it on the map.” Cas said. “Can you tell which way you came from?” 

Dean closed his eyes and focused on the memory. He had woken up cold and alone, covered in leaves, and for a moment he thought he was dead. He’d dragged himself out of the pile and to his knees, his stomach heaving, before crawling out from under the brush. He opened his eyes and looked around until he saw a dense area of low shrubs, brown and dried in the cold. 

“Maybe over here.” He said. He knelt and pulled the brush aside. Behind it was a pile of leaves, clearly disturbed, and a patch of bare earth at the center. Some of the leaves had dark drops and smears on them. “Found it!” 

Cas and Gabe both made their way over, stooping next to him. Gabe reached inside first, pulling some of the darkened leaves out and holding them to his nose. He breathed in deep. 

“Doesn’t smell human to me.” He said. His tongue poked out and touched the leaf gingerly. Dean felt his stomach roll. Cas’ nose scrunched up. “Doesn’t taste like it either.” 

“How would you know?” Cas asked. 

“I’ve had a bloody nose before, bitten my lip, sucked on a jawbreaker too long and made my tongue bleed – come on, Cas. I just know.” 

“I still think we should keep looking. I don’t want Dean to worry about this later.” 

Dean was relieved to hear Cas say exactly what he was thinking. “Not that I don’t trust you dude, but I’m with Cas on this one.” 

Gabe shrugged and dropped the leaf. “Well, if the blood was still wet and dripping when you got here, you couldn’t have been too far away when you bit whatever it was.” 

They set out again. For all the shit that was going on, Dean was glad he had Cas and Gabe to help him through it. He appreciated their relationship with one another, how close they were, and how willing they were to help. Cas had bitten him but Gabe had never even flinched, taking it upon himself to traipse around the woods with them. It reminded him of Sam. His stomach swooped again at the thought and he wondered what he was going to tell his brother. 

“Are you focusing, Dean? Do you need a break?” Cas said, coming up beside him. 

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m here.” 

Cas eyed him for a moment before nodding, just a quick dip of his head, and continuing on. This time they meandered more, looping in and out of the trees and even doubling back on their trail in places. Cas and Gabe kept stopping to sniff that air and Dean wondered absently if their sense of smell was better than his – if his would get better with time. 

In the dark, the trees and underbrush looked the same. All around them, Dean could hear small animals scurrying to and fro. None crossed their path and Dean thought maybe they could sense what they were. The air was crisp and clean, cold enough now that he had to zip up his jacket and stuff his hands in his pockets. 

The next time the brothers stopped, Gabe jerked his head to one side. 

“Smell that?” 

Cas came up beside him, smelling the air, and Dean followed suit. Sure enough, it was there on the wind – iron and something sickly sweet, verging on rotten. He grimaced. 

Gabe trotted off through the trees and a moment later he called out “Yahtzee!” 

The corpse was mangled, bones broken and the innards removed. Dean could see claw marks along its tawny side and a large chunk of the neck that had been torn away. He felt his burger threatening to come back up, bile and acid burned his throat and his eyes watered. Gabe circled it, nudging parts with his toe. He grasped its antlers and twisted its head to the side. 

“8 points! Not a bad catch. You wanna keep them as a trophy or something?” 

“Gabriel!” Cas said. His voice was stern and his eyes were set into a hard glare. 

“Ah come on, Cas. Dean’s a big boy.” He glanced over to Dean and something in his face must have changed his mind. He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry bucko. Too soon for jokes, I see. Well do you feel better at least? This is definitely wolf activity. I could break it down for you but I’m not sure you want all the grisly details right now.” 

Dean wasn’t sure what more there was to it but he agreed that his stomach couldn’t handle further explanation. “Yeah, I feel better. Do we need to – I don’t know – do something with it?”

“No, Dean. Nature will take its course.” Castiel said. He put a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Let’s head back.” 

Once they were out of range of the thing and he had a chance to clear his head, he really did feel better. Relief washed over him and he felt the tension in his neck bleed away. Relaxed, he found himself full of questions. 

“So my wolf _ate_ that deer last night? Am I going to get sick from that? I mean, what if it had a disease?” He asked as his stomach rolled again. 

“Actually kiddo, that’s another benefit of being a wolf. You are now the owner of a top of the line immune system. You’ll probably never get sick and if you get injured, you’ll heal a hell of a lot faster than the average Joe.” Gabriel said. 

“You will probably live longer too. The healing helps your cells regenerate faster.” Castiel chimed in. He was walking at Dean’s side now that they had no need to spread out and cover ground. It was nice and Dean felt himself fall into step with the man beside him. 

“Keeps you looking young!” Gabe added. He was circling the two of them, still full of energy somehow. 

“Oh yeah? So how old are you Gabe, seventy five?” 

“Ha Ha real funny. I’ll have you know, I’m thirty nine.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as he gave the man a once over. He didn’t look nine years older than Dean. “Well Damn.” Dean said. “What about you Cas? Mid-sixties?” 

Cas scrunched his eyebrows together in a look of distaste but Dean could see the corners of his mouth threatening to pull up. “I’m thirty five.” 

Again, Dean was a little surprised. He had just assumed Cas was his age, maybe a year or two younger.

“Ok that’s awesome.”


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a week since their trip to the woods and a few days since Charlie had emailed Cas the all clear about the missing person reports, confirming what they already knew. They had met up once for drinks and Cas had filled Dean in on some of the basics. 

The werewolf curse was permanent and yes, he could pass it on if he bit someone while in wolf form or if he had children with another wolf. There were no rules against telling the people close to him, although Cas suggested thinking about it for a while before doing so. More than one wolf had lost friends or ended up in therapy because of the truth. Werewolves were created by magic as far as Castiel knew. His father had been doing research in his spare time, trying to track down the legends and build a collective work out of them all but he had never finished. There was no council of elders or governing body like what was shown frequently in fiction but the wolves did have loose packs, mostly built around families. Their pack was made up of Castiel, Gabriel, their uncle Michael, his wife Anna and son Samandriel, and now, Dean. 

Dean had blushed a little when Cas said that, the alcohol buzzing through his system already. He liked the idea of that, of belonging to a pack with Castiel. They hadn’t known each other long but he already felt close to the man. He was trying his hardest to help Dean adjust to this new facet of his life and he never seemed to lose patience with him. 

Sent 12:05pm: _can a silver bullet kill me?_

Castiel: _…yes? As much as a real bullet could kill you._

Sent 12:07pm: _Stake to the heart?_

Castiel: _That’s vampires but yes, it could kill you._

Sent 12:08pm: _so were not immortal?_

Castiel: _No. I thought we already discussed this?_

Sent 12:15pm: _whats the deal with wolfsbane? poisonous? feel good drug?_

A few minutes later Dean’s phone started ringing, the chorus of _Hungry like a wolf_ filling the small breakroom. Dean grinned and put down his sandwich. 

“Hey Cas.” 

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah” he said and crunched on a chip, “I’m fine. Eating lunch. Why?”

“The questions. I thought you might be upset or something.” 

“Nah. Boring day at work, gave me lots of time to think.” 

“Ah. Well, I am not having a boring day at work.” Cas said. His voice was strained and Dean could hear him typing in the background. 

He frowned, suddenly feeling like a jerk. “Sorry Cas. I’ll stop. Didn’t mean to interrupt your day.” 

“It’s fine, Dean. Are you free this evening? Maybe we could have dinner and I can answer some more of your questions.”

“I’m free. Thanks Cas.” 

“Of course. How about my house at six thirty?”

“You cook?” 

Cas laughed; it was a low dark rumble of a thing and Dean smiled at the sound. “Not really. But Gabriel does. I’ll ask him to make us something.” 

“Awesome.”

There was silence for a moment before Cas added, “Have a good day, Dean.”

“You too, Cas.” 

\------

They sank onto the couch, Dean sprawled lazily across one side and Cas tucked up into the opposite corner. Dean groaned. 

“I ate too much. That pizza was really good.” 

“Sorry again. I didn’t know Gabriel had a date.” 

Dean waved a hand in Cas’ direction. “Dude, it’s fine. You can never go wrong with pizza. Especially not barbeque chicken bacon pizza.”

Cas smiled and Dean returned it. He liked seeing Cas smile; the man was so serious most of the time. 

“So did you think of any more questions for me?”

“Tons, man. Lemme see-“ He took out his phone and opened a text file. “I made a list.” 

Cas’ mouth pulled up into another small smile and his eyes shone with amusement. “Ok. I’ll try to answer as best I can.” 

“You said you were born this way right?”

Castiel nodded. 

“What was that like? I mean, did you turn as a baby? What did your parents do with you when they turned?” 

“The change doesn’t begin until puberty. Most wolves don’t turn for the first time until they’re fifteen or sixteen.” Cas said. He stopped to take a sip of his beer, “When we were little they would hire a babysitter for the night but as we got older they trusted us to stay home and when Gabriel started to turn, I just stayed by myself. I have always been rather self-sufficient. “

Dean snorted. “I believe that. I bet you even did your homework and went to bed at a reasonable hour.”

“Of course, Dean.” Cas said with a straight face. Dean laughed again. 

“What was your first turn like?”

Cas sighed. “To be honest, it wasn’t good or bad. My parents talked to us some but not very in depth. They focused more on safety and practical matters than anything else. I’d been listening to Gabriel talk about it for years at that point though, so I at least had some idea going into it. The worst part was the morning after. Gabriel had neglected to tell me I would feel so off balance and out of touch with my body. He said it sucked and made him sick or something like that but I was caught off guard by how intense it was.” 

Dean frowned a little imaging a fifteen year old Cas waking up naked and alone while feeling sick and confused. It had been horrible for him as an adult but he couldn’t imagine going through that as a teenager. 

“I’m sorry, Cas.” 

Cas looked over at him with apologetic eyes. “It’s not like I did any better with you.” 

Dean shrugged. “Yeah but that was ‘cause I’m a stubborn ass. You were just a kid. They should have told you more.” 

Cas stared into the mouth of his bottle. When he spoke, his voice was low and measured. “My parents were having problems at that point – Gabriel and I just didn’t know it yet. Gabriel swears he suspected something was going on but I don’t know how much of that is hindsight. Anyway, mother left right before my sixteenth birthday. I think they were both distracted with their own concerns.” He shrugged and took a long drink. 

Dean stared for a moment, not knowing what to say. He took a drink of his own beer and let the silence settle between them. 

“I’m sorry about your mom.” He said finally. Cas shrugged again, waving the comment away with one hand. 

“It was a long time ago. I saw her once when I was nineteen, inside of a Macy’s of all places. I didn’t speak to her and I don’t think she noticed me. Or maybe she didn’t recognize me.” 

“If she saw you, she would recognize you, Cas. Your eyes at least.” Dean said with a chuckle. “Hell, even your wolf has those eyes.” 

Cas’ cheeks flushed a soft pink but he turned away and finished his beer. He motioned with the empty bottle as he stood and Dean nodded. 

When he returned with fresh beers in hand, he sat down again, this time a few inches closer to Dean. 

“Ok I want us to try something.” He said as he passed off a bottle. 

Dean took it and sat up a little straighter. “What?” 

Cas set his beer on the side table, motioning for Dean to do the same. “When you wake up from a turn, you have no memory of what happened. That’s normal but some wolves have figured out a way to get around that.” 

Dean’s eyes widened. So far, that had been one of the worst parts of the whole situation. The pain was one thing but having no control of his actions and no memory of them was almost unbearable. 

“It’s based around meditation. Close your eyes and try to relax. Take some deep breaths.” 

Dean did as asked. He could hear Castiel shuffling on the other couch cushion and felt the dip as the other man moved closer to him. He pulled in a deep breath. His mind was fuzzy around the edges from the alcohol. 

“Focus on your body. Feel your heart beating in your chest, your lungs expanding.” Cas’ voice was closer than before.

He tried to focus. His heart was there, thumping away in a steady rhythm. His pulse jumped in his fingertips. When he breathed in his chest lifted and he could feel the warm air in his nose and throat. 

“Now the next part will be hard since you haven’t seen yourself yet but try to picture your wolf. They usually resemble us, so I imagine it has light brown fur and green eyes.” 

Dean tried to bring up the image in his mind but all he saw was Cas. The wolf with the dark fur and snarling expression; all of it tempered by those piercing blue eyes. He’d looked at Dean and for a moment Dean had thought the wolf recognized him as a person. 

His eyes flew open. 

Cas was next to him with his legs crossed and his knees mere inches from Dean’s thigh. His eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly. 

“Can you control your wolf or…” he paused, unsure how to finish the question. Cas’ eyes slid open and his head tilted slightly to one side. “During the attack, after the bite, your wolf stopped and looked at me – that’s how I saw your eyes. For a moment- I almost thought it knew what had happened or something. Then it ran away. Was that you? Did you know?” 

It was obvious Cas was thinking. Dean waited. 

“In a way. Another facet of the meditation is the ability to connect with the wolf more consciously. I can’t control what he does but I can impart my desires onto him, in a more focused way, and usually he tries to comply.” He chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment, “I have always been concerned about biting someone. It is possible that unconsciously I’ve made this fear known to him and that he reacted accordingly. I told you it was an accident. It is not in my nature, or the wolf’s, to attack a person.” 

Dean was staring, mulling over what Cas had said. 

“Recently I’ve started asking him to bring me back to a certain spot in the morning, so that when I wake up I can be near my supplies. Over time most wolves naturally do that anyway, staying closer to home at the end of the night but close to a wolf can be very far for a person – especially a naked person.” 

“Wow.” Dean said, his mind still reeling. “I’ve wondered about that. It snows like hell here in the winter, how do you guys not freeze to death?” 

“Other people just trust in their wolves to keep them safe but Gabriel and I usually stay inside. This house has a very large basement, more of a bomb shelter really, that’s able to contain us. It was one reason we chose it.” 

Dean nodded. Frank’s house having a bomb shelter hadn’t crossed his mind but it made perfect sense. Crazy old guy probably had one of those survival capsules buried somewhere out on the property too. 

“Ok, wait. Go back. So your wolf will follow directions?” 

“Kind of. It’s not that simple. He still has free will. But we’ve become acquainted through meditation and now he listens to my requests and chooses to complete them for me.” He blushed again and ducked his head, “It’s not very common. Most werewolves meditate to regain their memories but not many try to befriend the wolf. It can be difficult to do. The wolves aren’t very social with us – only with each other.” 

Dean leaned back against the arm of the couch. “Sonofabitch.” He said quietly but the words were inadequate for what he was feeling. 

They sat for a few minutes just looking at one another. Dean watched as Cas’ fingers played nervously at the hem of his jeans, picking at a loose thread and tugging It between thumb and forefinger. 

All of his fears about the loss of control and about maybe spreading this to someone else were suddenly lifted – not gone but not as heavy on his shoulders either. If he could learn how to talk to the wolf, how to ask it not to hurt anyone - 

“Can you teach me?” 

Cas caught his eyes, a look of surprise on his face and then he nodded, a sharp dip of his head. “Yes, Dean. Of course. I can’t guarantee how well it will work but if you keep trying it should have some effect at least.” 

“Awesome.” 

Cas looked a little shaken as he leaned back and grabbed his drink. He took a healthy swallow of it before replacing the bottle. 

“Do you want to try again?” he asked. 

Dean closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop.


	9. Chapter 9

They worked at it for almost an hour before Dean finally got frustrated. Cas was impressed. The first time he’d tried to work on it with Gabriel, he hadn’t lasted fifteen minutes. 

“I don’t get it! I can’t get my mind to shut down. Every time I think I’m getting somewhere I drift off thinking about work or laundry or whatever the hell else.” Dean said. He groaned, a sound that sent a little thrill up Cas’ spine each time he heard it, and rubbed his hands across his eyes. “What am I doing wrong, Cas?” 

When he looked up, his eyes were full of such genuine distress that Cas’ first instinct was to hug him. Instead he motioned for Dean to get his beer. While Dean drank, he said, “You aren’t doing anything wrong. You are actually doing really well for a first timer. You don’t have to clear your mind entirely. No one can do that. You just have to be aware of when your mind slips and redirect it back. Like I said, it takes time.” 

Dean looked crestfallen but Castiel could tell he was listening. 

“Plus, you’ve only turned once. Your wolf is far away from you right now. What we are doing is just the basics, just building a foundation. When you turn in a few weeks, the link between you will be stronger and you’ll see it get a bit easier. Ok?" 

Dean sighed. He finished his beer and stood. “It’s late. I should get going, gotta work in the morning. Thanks for dinner and for this,” he gestured to the couch. “I’ll keep working on it.”

Cas stood and followed him to the front door. “Can we meet again next week? We can work on all this and talk about the next turn.” 

The porchlight cast a warm glow on Dean’s features. He sighed again and then visibly shook himself. The solemn expression fell from his face and something gentle took over for it. “Yeah Cas, that’d be great.” He said. He waved as he walked down the steps. 

Cas went back inside and leaned against the door until he heard the impala drive off. He wandered back into the living room, picking up their discarded bottles and transporting them into the kitchen. He packed away the leftovers and rinsed out the bottles for recycling. 

He hadn’t meant to bring up the meditation yet. When Gabe had suggested it the first day he thought it was a good idea but not a very practical one. It took months for most wolves to even begin to get glimpses of memories back –nothing that would have helped them right away. Tonight though, they had veered into the personal and it had surprised him. He’d jumped to the meditation just to divert the conversation. 

Dean was a kind man and a good listener, Castiel couldn’t help but talk to him. His eyes were so open and curious but without any of the judgment that most people had just below the surface. He felt deeply, even if he didn’t always let it be known. He was funny and charismatic and Gabriel was right – he was exactly Cas’ type. 

Cas shoved the feeling away. Dean was just beginning to get to know him, to trust him, and he wouldn’t jeopardize that on a stupid crush. He had cursed this man, literally, and now he needed to help him through it. 

He scrubbed at a spot on the counter and swore when the paper towel he was using tore apart in his hand. He threw it away and stormed out, flipping light switches off as he made his way back to his room. 

Castiel had the master suite on the opposite side of the house from Gabriel. He didn’t know what about the smaller and darker room had appealed to Gabriel but when given the choice, he’d freely handed the master over to Castiel. 

A large window took up most of one wall and Cas pulled the drapes shut on it, blocking out the darkness outside. Something about the nighttime still gave him chills. Where they had grown up, it was never truly dark. There were always streetlamps on or motion sensor lights in people’s backyards. 

He made his way to the shower, dropping clothing as he went. He would pick it up tomorrow he told himself but knew it was a lie; yesterday’s clothing was right beside today’s. 

He rolled his neck and shoulders as he stepped into the steaming spray. The white tile gleamed brightly at him and he shut his eyes, letting the water cascade down his face and neck. He breathed shallowly through his mouth and let himself just stand there for a while. Eventually he turned, opening his water heavy eyelashes to find the soap. He lathered his chest and arms, underarms too, before rubbing the soap into his shoulders and neck. He rubbed hard, squeezing at the muscles. A day spent at the computer fighting with accounting software could make anyone tense. 

He leaned into the spray again, letting the water pound down on his sore muscles. His hand traveled down the soft line of his stomach, lathering the hair there and drifting to his thighs. He tried to remember the last time he’d gone running and realized it was before everything started with Dean. That might be why he felt so tense and wound up. Tomorrow he would have to go for a run he decided. He lathered his calves and feet. 

For a moment he pretended he didn’t know what he was about to do but then he stopped himself. A thirty five year old man didn’t need to play games, least of all with himself. He lathered the soap in his hands again before setting it down. He stroked his cock once, twice, just spreading the soap around. He was half hard already, had been since Dean had started breathing so sweetly through his mouth while trying to concentrate. While Dean had his eyes closed, dutifully following Cas’ instructions (and wasn’t that something to think about) Castiel had been watching his face. 

He had freckles across his nose and cheeks. Cas had noticed them the first time they’d met but now he pictured them again, groaned a little as he squeezed himself. He’d seen Dean shirtless and knew the freckles continued to his shoulders, the top of his back, and down his arms. The image of Dean’s chest came to him –without all the blood this time- and he wondered again what his tattoo could be. 

His hand sped up a fraction, twisting at the top of each stroke. He could feel the slip and slide of precome across his palm now. Dean’s biceps were well defined, probably from working with his hands. Those hands. He had noticed them at the diner too. Nicely shaped fingers, thick and long enough. Castiel bit back a moan as he imagined Dean’s rough palms running up his thighs, down his chest, grabbing his ass. He squeezed again, tightening his grip. 

He wondered what Dean’s skin tasted like. When he’d smelled him after the first turn; sweat and body odor all over him, he’d been too distracted by the situation to appreciate it. He imagined something masculine mixed with the clean smell of sweat not laced with fear. In his mind he was kneeling now, Dean towering over him. His hand moved faster as he imagined taking Dean’s cock in hand before running his tongue up the length of it. 

He’d seen Dean naked but it was cold, there was blood involved, and he had been trying not to freak out – so he hadn’t actually looked at him that way. He imagined Dean had a nice cock, probably cut since he was a wholesome midwest boy – He almost snickered at the description. He wondered what it would feel like on his tongue, in his throat. Would Dean groan the same way he had earlier? 

That thought; that image is what sent him over the edge, his toes curling against the fiberglass tub. He held a hand out to steady himself as his orgasm washed through him. He panted hotly for a moment while he tried to collect his thoughts. He almost felt guilty but pushed it away. He wasn’t hurting anyone and as long as he didn’t let any of it bleed out and make Dean uncomfortable, there was no harm in a little fantasy. 

The water was tepid by the time he turned it off and stepped out. He pulled on a pair of boxers and crawled between his sheets. He could hear movement and guessed Gabriel had returned. The fridge door opened and closed and he heard the clink of silverware; Gabriel getting a late night snack, he supposed. He heard a girlish giggle and his brothers best whisper (which was in no way an actual whisper) before the voices moved off. He groaned and rolled over, pulling a pillow over his head to hopefully block out the sound.


	10. Chapter 10

“Woah. When you said large basement I didn’t think you meant all of this.” Dean said. “It’s almost as big as the whole house!”

His eyes were wide as he took in the massive expanse of a room. Concrete walls had been painted a warm cream color and the floor was covered by large rugs, overlapping in areas. Castiel descended the narrow flight of stairs behind Dean, encouraging him to move into the space. 

“Frank had extra security monitors down here along with rows of metal shelving. By the time he left it was all cleared out but I assume it held supplies. There are bolt holes in the wall at the back too, maybe for bunk beds? We’ve never quite figured it out.” Cas said. 

He turned and opened a door set into the wall under the stairwell. “Now we just keep our supplies in here; stuff for the turn as well as extra provisions in case of a blizzard. Our first year here we were snowed in for almost a week and nearly came to blows when the food started to get low. Gabriel is unpleasant when he’s hungry.” 

Dean laughed at that and peered into the closet over Cas’ shoulder. Castiel stepped into the small room, ducking his head to accommodate for the slanted ceiling, and handed Dean a pile of blankets off one of the shelves. 

“Toss those wherever, close to a wall is better.” 

Dean raised an eyebrow but did as he was asked. Castiel threw another armful of blankets out onto the floor and when he turned around again, they were gone. He grabbed two large bowls and a pillow before stepping out. 

Dean had laid the blankets out in a messy pile against one wall and was standing with his hands on his hips, staring at it. 

“Is this what I think it is?” He said, looking at Cas. “Did I just make us a dog bed?” 

Cas laughed and felt his heart skip when Dean’s face broke into a grin. He had a smile that never ceased to amaze him. 

“Basically. The wolves like to have somewhere soft to lay down, especially in a space like this.” He said, motioning to the concrete floors peeking out under the rugs. 

Dean brought his hand to his mouth and chewed on his thumbnail for a moment. “So we’ll all just curl up together?” 

Cas felt a wash of shame come over him. He hadn’t even considered that Dean might be uncomfortable sharing a pallet with them. 

“We don’t have to.” He said quickly. “There are plenty of blankets if you want to build one for yourself.” He motioned to the closet. “It’s just habit now for Gabriel and I. I’m sorry, Dean. I should have thought of it.” 

Dean shrugged and stared at the pallet before heading back into the closet. He came back with an armful of blankets and tossed them down a few feet from the original bed. 

Castiel took the bowls to the large sink in one corner and filled them with water. He set them on the ground nearby, leaving space between them. 

“That’s it.” He said as he wiped his hands on his jeans. Dean was watching him. He had an unreadable expression on his face and Castiel wished he knew what the other man was thinking. 

“Are you ok?” he asked. “We could probably still figure out something else for you, if you want.” 

“No. No, this is great. It’s just weird you know? I feel – I don’t know, anxious or something. Part of me still hopes it won’t happen again.” He caught Cas’ eyes and Cas could see the play of emotions in them. “Like maybe last month was just a fluke and this month I’ll be left standing here wondering what the hell I do now. Does that make sense?” 

Castiel closed the distance between them, clapping a hand on Dean’s shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. “Yeah it does. It’s ok to feel like that. This is so out of the realm of normal that I think it would be more worrying if you weren’t freaked out by it.”

He felt Dean’s tension release some under his palm. “Thanks Cas.” 

A loud clap sounded followed by the slapping of bare feet on concrete. “Woo! We ready to do this?” Gabriel called excitedly. 

Cas let his hand drop and took a step away, not wanting Gabriel to see them in such an intimate position and tease them both for it. Dean was in too vulnerable a place to deal with Gabriel’s antics at the moment. 

“Yeah, uh let me hit the head and I’ll be right back down.” Dean said. 

Castiel didn’t stop him as he rushed away and headed up the stairs. 

“Didn’t you tell him there’s a john down here?” Gabe said. He motioned over his shoulder to the door tucked away in the right hand wall. He was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and nothing else. 

“No but I think he needs a minute to clear his head anyway.” Cas said. “Thanks for wearing pants.” 

“It wasn’t for your boyfriend, sweet cheeks. It’s cold, in case you haven’t noticed.” He said simply. 

Usually they were still able to change outside during October but the weather had turned sharply on them this week and had pushed them indoors. 

Gabe made his way to the larger pallet and began rearranging the blankets and pillows to his liking. Hel was particular about his pallet even though Castiel suspected his wolf didn’t care one way or the other. 

When he caught Cas’ eye again he nodded toward the other pallet but Cas ignored him. He went into the closet and pulled off his clothes, folding them neatly and setting them on the now empty shelves before wrapping himself in another blanket. When he stepped back into the room, Gabriel was spread out across the pallets playing on his phone. 

“You know you need to put that away. The wolf destroyed it last time.” Cas said. 

Gabe rolled his eyes, “Yes, mother. I know.” He made no move to put it away. 

Cas sighed and paced the floor. He walked back to the sinks checking the bowls again and wondered if he should have a third one just for Dean. He and Gabriel’s wolves had never had a problem with sharing but he wondered how Dean’s wolf would react to it. Most of the time wolves in the same pack, those linked by blood or bites, got along well. Plus, they had developed a close friendship over the last few weeks, or the beginnings of one anyway which should make their wolves more amenable to one another. 

Cas was checking the bowls for a third time, clutching the blanket tightly around him as he walked, when he heard Dean pad softly down the stairs. When he came into the room, he was shoeless and his jacket was gone. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Cas in his blanket toga. 

“Should I get undressed?” Dean asked. His cheeks flushed and he looked away uncomfortably. 

Gabriel wolf whistled as he rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows. “Come on, Dean-o, show us the goods!” 

“Gabriel!” Cas said harshly. Gabe rolled his eyes and dropped his head onto one of the pillows. 

“If you want to change in the closet, Dean, you can leave your clothes on the shelves and grab a blanket.” He waved the edge of his own blanket and saw Dean’s throat bob as he swallowed. He nodded and disappeared into the small room. 

“Will you leave him alone, please!” Cas whispered. Gabe didn’t even open his eyes as he made a shooing gesture with his hand. 

Castiel climbed the stairs again and fastened the outer door. They hadn’t even needed to add anything to it when they bought the place as Frank had installed a deadbolt and slide lock on both sides. 

When he came down the stairs again, Dean was sitting on his pallet with his knees against his chest and the blanket wrapped around him in a large blue swirl. His head was resting on his crossed forearms. 

“Now what?” he asked. 

Cas took a seat on the edge of the other pallet facing his friend. “Now we wait. Focus on your breathing and try to get into your headspace. It’ll help you connect.” 

“And after? What are the wolves even gonna do down here?” Dean said. He picked his head up and scanned the room again. It was empty except for the sink and the doors to the bathroom and closet. 

“Mostly just walk around, play with each other, and sleep.” Gabriel chimed in. Castiel nodded. 

“And in the morning we get dressed and have breakfast.” Cas said. He hoped the thought of food would distract Dean a little. One thing he had in common with Gabriel was their love of food. 

“I bought cinnamon rolls.” Gabriel said. “The big ones in the foil package.” Both he and Dean groaned in unison and Cas couldn’t help his own chuckle. 

Castiel could feel the time passing in his body. He felt on edge, all his senses firing at once. He could smell the cherry candy Gabe had eaten before coming downstairs and Dean’s shampoo – something generic but clean. The walls were pretty much soundproof but he could still hear the last few drops of water falling from the faucet into the sink basin on the other side of the room. 

Gabe was tapping his foot, a sure sign he felt it too, and when he looked at Dean, he was curled in on himself again and rocking slightly. 

When the turn happened it was as uncomfortable as always, no longer painful exactly but still disorienting. He could hear Dean cry out and instinctively reached for him. But Dean was on the other side of his pallet now, a moving lump under the cover of the blanket and Cas guessed he wanted his privacy for this part. 

Castiel groaned as his body changed. He was still watching Dean and he saw a light brown head, dappled with spots, poke out from under the blanket just before everything went black. 

\--------

When he woke up he was curled on his side with a long line of heat covering his back. He pressed into it and away from the cold concrete under his cheek. There was a blanket around his legs and he tried to pull it up higher but it was stuck on something. When he tugged, the warmth behind him shifted. He stilled, realizing suddenly that it was a person cuddled up close to him. The person shifted again and he felt their feet touch his ankles just as a strong arm wound itself around his middle. Definitely not Gabriel – who was nowhere near tall enough for this position and who usually ended up as the little spoon anyway. 

He warred with himself for a moment. Dean felt wonderful against him, all hot skin and warm breath on the back of his neck. He even felt less out of sorts than usual, which might have been Dean’s doing or just the fact he hadn’t actually moved yet. Everything in him wanted to snuggle closer and try to go back to sleep but he knew deep down that Dean would be uncomfortable if he woke up this way and that was the last thing he wanted. 

He cursed his own rationality and gently crawled out of Dean’s embrace. They were on the smaller pallet, partially anyway, and Dean had the blanket tucked under and around his waist and legs. He groped for something and Cas pressed a rolled up blanket into his arms. He pulled it in close to his chest and settled again. Cas moved away, still on all fours, and flopped down on the other pallet next to Gabriel who was tucked up into the fetal position with only his head sticking out of the blankets. He found something to cover himself with and settled back down. His stomach was rolling but he thought it would be ok if he just laid still for a while. 

That was one thing about staying inside for the turn – the morning after was always a little easier since weather and distance back to the house weren’t an issue. 

He laid there until his stomach stopped churning and he couldn’t ignore his bladder anymore. He stood cautiously, wrapping himself up like the night before and retrieved his clothes. Dean’s were folded messily on the same shelf as his own he noticed. He tromped up the stairs without even getting dressed first. 

By the time the other two woke up he was on his second cup of coffee and had one of Gabriel’s cinnamon rolls out on a plate. He was picking at it with one hand as he scrolled through the news on his phone. The sticky sweet pastry was almost too much for him this early but the power of suggestion was strong and he hadn’t wanted anything else. 

Dean came up first, already dressed and buttoning his flannel shirt. He ran a hand through his hair, which only mussed it further, and Cas hid his smile in his coffee mug. Dean grumbled a greeting as he passed by and got a mug for himself. He’d been at the house often enough by now that he knew his way around the kitchen. He sat on a barstool next to Cas and reached for the cinnamon rolls, neglecting to get a plate and taking a large bite immediately. He groaned happily as his eyes slid closed. 

“You should really drink some water too. Caffeine is dehydrating.” Cas said. 

Dean cracked one eye open at him and then went back to his breakfast. 

Moments later the basement door opened again and Gabriel came in. He had on a blanket, like Castiel had earlier, and probably nothing else. He too grabbed a pastry straight away and sat in one of the kitchen chairs to eat it. Castiel felt a warm flutter in his chest as he watched the two of them; his pack (or the important parts of it anyway). 

When breakfast was through and he’d forced a cup of water into each of them, Gabriel disappeared. Cas and Dean made their way to the sofa and sat. 

“I told Bobby I wouldn’t be in until the afternoon.” Dean said. He still had small lines on his face from sleep. “I can get out of your hair whenever though – don’t be afraid to tell me to go.” 

Castiel shook his head. “Never. You’re our pack Dean. You’ll always be welcome here.” 

Dean ducked his head at the sentiment. 

“Do you want to try meditating or is it still too early? How are you feeling?” 

“I’m ok.” Dean said. He looked thoughtful. “I actually feel a little better than last time. Still weird and my body kind of aches all over but hey, I’m not covered in blood.” He punctuated the sentence with a smile and a wink.

Cas laughed. “Yes, that’s true. It is an improvement in that way at least.”

The silence that descended was comfortable and Castiel basked in it. He watched the trees outside, the brown leaves rustling in the wind. It was still early and the sky was painted with oranges and pinks in places. 

“We can try.” Dean said. 

Cas looked over, questioning for a moment before remembering his earlier suggestion. “Yes. Ok good. It’s best to try soon after waking, when everything is still at the surface.” 

Dean leaned back, letting his head drop onto the back of the couch and stretching his legs out in front of him. They had found that a relaxed reclining pose worked best for him. Castiel crossed his legs, turning his body toward Dean unconsciously. They both shut their eyes. 

Castiel did his deep breathing and tried to connect with the wolf. He pictured his dark fur and blue eyes and the images started to come in. He saw Gabriel, his compact body moving steadily around the perimeter of the room, nose to the floor. He glimpsed the water bowls and his own reflection in the surface. Over his shoulder a light brown head came into view, with dappled spots. The next image was of Dean. He was the same size as Castiel and the spots continued down the ridge of his back and on his legs. He was well muscled and shiny and when his head turned, he had the same green eyes Castiel would know anywhere. 

There was a blur of movement and he could smell the particular scent of Gabriel’s fur, sweet and clean. He felt the rugs under his paws, the uneven surface and textures. The next image was of Dean’s face, his eyes closed and his head on his paws. Castiel’s tongue reached out and licked between his ears, between his eyes, and across his snout. 

Castiel felt his face flush but he didn’t pull away from the image. Next he saw the two of them curled together, much like this morning, Dean’s dappled body tucked up next to his own, their tails brushing each other’s noses. 

“Holy shit!” 

His eyes flew open and Dean was sitting up looking at him. He patted Cas’ arm frantically. “Dude I think I saw something! It was just for a second but” his face lit up, a smile tugging the corners of his mouth. 

“What did you see?” 

“You! And Gabriel, I guess. It was just a second, like a picture, but a big black wolf snarling at a smaller brownish one.” His voice was a tad higher than normal with excitement. “I did it, Cas! I actually fucking did it!” 

Castiel grinned at him, shaking off the disappointment of leaving his own memories so abruptly. “That’s great Dean. Really, that’s awesome!” he said. “It usually takes a lot longer to even get that far. I’m impressed.”

Dean grinned and for a second, Castiel thought he might pull him into a hug. Instead, he stood up. 

“Where did Gabe go? I wanna tell him I saw his wolf and he’s just as ugly in wolf form as he is now.” He said. Mirth danced in his eyes and Cas couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Probably in his room. Down the hall, second door on the right. Knock first or don’t blame me if you get an eyeful.” He warned. 

He watched as Dean sauntered down the hall and tried to get a handle on the swirl of his emotions just under his skin. Apparently their wolves really liked each other – grooming like what he’d seen wasn’t common except in intimate relationships. He didn’t think his wolf even cleaned Gabriel that way. He was pretty positive it was his crush manifesting itself on his side but did that mean something about how Dean felt too? He wasn’t sure. 

He also experienced a swell of pride at Dean’s progress. It was exceptional that he had been able to pull anything up after only a few weeks of training, not to mention the fact that it was only his second turn. That was almost unheard of. Dean was becoming a very capable wolf.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean tugged his jacket open as he rushed up the driveway, his boots crunching and slipping in the snow. His skin was prickling, crawling, and sweating all at once. He could feel the dampness of his shirt under his arms and at the small of his back. 

He groaned as he pushed through the front door, sending up a small prayer of thanks that Cas and Gabe had thought to leave it open for him. He made a bee-line for the basement discarding his shoes and jacket on the floor as he crossed the kitchen. 

“Cas!” he called as he hit the doorway and realized the door wouldn’t budge. 

He heard movement from inside and the sound of bare feet on concrete. The deadbolt ground open and Dean pushed inside quickly, nudging the door closed with his hip and slamming the bolt shut once more. The blanketed figure of his friend made its way back downstairs. 

“Shit, man. I’m so sorry I’m late. I-“ his words were cut off as a cramp hit him in the stomach. He scrambled to the bottom of the stairs quick on Cas’ heels. He tore at his clothes, not caring where they landed. 

Another cramp hit him and brought him to his knees. He crawled to the pallet on all fours. The rugs cushioned his knees some but he still felt the sting as he moved. He focused on it, focused on his breathing. He tried to hear his own breath as it left his nose, the harsh rush of air. He listened to his heart rattling against his ribcage.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cas curled up under a blanket, like last time, Gabriel a smaller shape somewhere behind him. He groaned again and squeezed his eyes shut. His joints popped and twisted and he cried out at the shock of pain. 

The room went black. 

\--------  
As Dean slowly drifted to consciousness he became aware of something warm and heavy draped across his chest and pressed up against his side. He pulled the object closer, tilting his face down to nuzzle into it. Soft hair tickled his nose and he breathed in deep, taking in the scent of coconut and herbs – something like Cas’ shampoo. 

He tensed as realization hit him and he slid his eyes open. Sure enough, a dark messy head was tucked up under his chin. The deep green comforter spread over them hid their bodies but he could feel Cas’ arm curled across his chest, his leg bent at the knee and thrown over Dean’s thigh, his half hard cock pressed against his hip. His own dick jumped at the sensation as a tendril of want climbed up his spine. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten, silently hoping this was a dream. When he cautiously peeked out again, Cas hadn’t moved. He resisted the urge to run a hand through Cas’ hair, which he noticed had been getting long and had a slight curl to it this morning. He sighed softly, his heart beating faster in his chest. He had to find a way out of this before Cas woke up. They were a pack; Dean needed both of the brothers and he couldn’t jeopardize that, or their friendship, just because his feelings for Cas had grown. 

They’d started having weekly dinners and meditation sessions which had then morphed into weekly dinner, mediation, and movie sessions once Dean learned that Cas had never seen anything he deemed a classic. The guy was funny in his own way, he listened when Dean talked and actually cared about what he said, and he had random knowledge that Dean couldn’t even begin to guess the origin of (though he did plan to exploit it at the Roadhouse’s trivia night someday soon). They texted constantly and if he wasn’t having so much fun he might have thought twice about whether it was a good idea or not, considering his crush, but it _was_ fun and never failed to put a smile on his face, so he didn’t think about it. 

He shifted slowly, turning his shoulder away and rolling out of Cas’ embrace. He waited. Cas made a sleepy grunting noise but settled back down after a moment and Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He scooted over, leaving a foot or so between them and curled up on his side.

He wasn’t nearly as warm or as comfortable as he had been and he already missed the smell of Cas’ shampoo. His stomach churned uncomfortably and now that he wasn’t so focused on Cas he felt the tale-tell aches and pains in his joints and muscles. He closed his eyes tight and tried to will himself back to sleep. 

When he woke again he could hear voices in the distance. The smell of coffee was faint but noticeable along with something else, spicy and mouthwatering. He threw back his blanket, forgetting for a moment that it was cold and he was naked. He hissed through clenched teeth and sat up quickly, looking around for his discarded clothes. He spotted his jeans by the water bowls, one leg hanging into the bowl, dark and wet. Elsewhere he noticed small scraps of blue material and he realized it was his t-shirt, torn to shreds and strewn across the room. He growled and ran his hands through his hair before standing and wrapping himself up again. He pulled the blanket tightly around his chest, tucking the ends in to hold it up.

When he stepped into the kitchen, Gabriel was already grinning at him. 

“One thing you gotta know is a bored wolf will destroy your stuff.” 

Dean glared, grumbling under his breath as he reached for the coffee mug Cas was holding in his direction. He took a sip and felt the warmth settle in his stomach. It wasn’t much, but it helped. 

“Don’t worry, Dean, I have some clothes you can borrow for your ride home. And if you want to store some extras downstairs, just in case, you are free to do so.” 

“Thanks Cas,” he said. He brushed past the man and unconsciously reached out for him, his hand hovering in the air behind Cas’ back for an instant before he dropped it. 

“What did you cook?” He said in Gabe’s direction, the full grumpiness of his mood evident in his tone. 

Gabe laughed. “Nothing for you if you’re going to have an attitude like that bucko.” 

Dean turned plaintive eyes on Castiel, who merely smirked into his mug and pretended to be reading. 

“Come on man, I didn’t get to eat before I got here last night. I’m starving!” he said. 

Gabe laughed again but motioned to the microwave. “Chorizo and egg. Cassie made me save you some.” He said. He hopped off his barstool and threw them both a wave. “See ya later kids!”

Dean opened the microwave door, moaning when the steamy air hit him, full of spices and the promise of something delicious. He took the plate out and immediately stuffed the end of one of the burritos into his mouth, taking a healthy bite. 

“Where’s ‘e off to anyway? ‘nother date?” He said through his mouthful. 

Cas’ nose wrinkled a little and Dean grinned. Sometimes it was fun just to ruffle his feathers. 

“I doubt it since its –“ he paused to check his phone, “eight on a Monday morning. I think he just needs some time alone after the turn. It’s hard being cooped up like this, for him especially. Gabriel is a roamer. His wolf likes to cover a lot of ground when he’s out.” 

Dean made an affirmative noise as he finished chewing his bite and dropped into a kitchen chair. “And that cold snap last month made you come inside early. That sucks.” 

“Yes, well he will just have to get used to it. Winter won’t be over for another three or four months.” 

Dean hummed in response as he chewed. He wondered how bad it could actually be in the snow. Weren’t wolves designed for it? And they had strong immune systems, so they probably wouldn’t get pneumonia or anything. 

“Why doesn’t he just go outside? I mean, I know it’s cold and all but you said the wolf would keep him safe, right? And other people do it.” 

Castiel had a pinched expression on his face, his mouth drawn into a tight line. “It’s not safe. Gabriel doesn’t meditate like I do, like we do. He doesn’t have as much control. His wolf has been known to leave him miles from the house sometimes.” 

“But he can’t get sick and I don’t think he’d even get frostbite, not if he heals quickly. So what, he’d be really uncomfortable for a while?”

Cas reached up and rubbed at his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just leave it alone, Dean.” He said. His tone was hard and clipped and Dean recoiled a little. Cas had never been anything but open and honest with him. 

He guessed he hit a nerve so he stopped talking and ate his breakfast in silence. Halfway through his second burrito Cas left the room. Dean sighed and slumped down in his chair. Maybe he’d gone too far and pissed the guy off? He should know better than to comment on someone’s family stuff. He’d be defensive if someone questioned how he dealt with Sam. 

He was planning his apology when Cas came back in the room, a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt draped over his arm. 

“Cas-“ he began but Cas shook his head. Dean’s heart dropped. 

“No, Dean. Let me go first. I’m sorry I was short with you a minute ago. There are things you don’t know, about Gabriel and I, and I shouldn’t treat you harshly for accidentally bringing them up. It wasn’t fair.” He sighed. The sound seemed to deflate him and his shoulders drooped forward. 

Without thinking Dean stood and reached out to him with one free arm, pulling the other man into an embrace. Cas stiffened at first but eventually gave in and circled his arms gently around Dean’s blanket wrapped waist, returning the hug. When they broke apart Dean could feel the flush on his cheeks but he tried to ignore it. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” He said. He stared at his bare feet and at Cas’ striped socks. They had tiny bees on them. 

“I know, Dean. I will. Just not right now, ok?” he said. He pressed the bundle of clothing into Dean’s hand and moved away again, returning to his seat and picking up his coffee mug. 

“Ok.” Dean said. He made his way to the bathroom to change. 

When he got back, Cas was still at the table but he was just staring off into nothing. Well, if he didn’t want to talk, Dean thought, he could always try to distract him. 

“So last night, I talked to Sammy on skype. That’s why I was late. He took me on a tour of his new apartment and he accidentally introduced me to his girlfriend.” 

“Accidentally?” Cas said. He raised his eyes to Dean’s and Dean could see gratitude in them. He smiled softly before continuing. 

“Yeah. We were talking or whatever, about Thanksgiving next week, and then she just walked in, right through the background of the shot. I guess he gave her a key. I swear he almost jumped out of his skin. Funniest shit I’ve seen in a while.” Dean said. He grinned, remembering how startled Sam had looked, his eyes wide and his hair flying as he whipped his head around. He chuckled. “The girl, Jess, is pretty cool. She came right over and said hi, made her own introductions. I think Sam was planning on having us meet at Christmas or something.” 

“Isn’t that kind of fast? How long have they been together?” 

“Couple of months. Seems like they might have started dating before I left but he just kept it hush hush. I think he really likes her, Cas. Might even be the one for him.” He felt a little choked up as he said it and he coughed to clear his throat. “She’s way out of his league.” 

“I’m sure.” Cas said but his eyes were sparkling with amusement. 

They finished their coffees quietly, the mood sufficiently lightened once again. 

“Do you need to leave soon?” Cas asked. They were huddled by the sink, Cas washing his own mug while Dean dried his with a hand towel. 

“Nah. Told Bobby I’d be in late again. I might need to get a cover story soon.” He said. He didn’t really think Bobby would question him about taking a morning off once a month but just in case, he wanted to figure out what to say. 

“Would you like to try meditating for a bit before you go?” 

“Yeah, sure.”

Cas grabbed a bottle of water for each of them, insisting that he drink some before they did anything else. He grumbled but complied. Cas was right about the dehydration thing. 

They fell into their usual positions on the couch and Dean closed his eyes automatically. He could hear Cas shuffling, adjusting, and getting comfortable. He pushed past the noise and focused on his breath, the rise and fall of his chest and diaphragm. 

He concentrated on his wolf. Cas had described it to him; large with light brown fur, green eyes, and spots. _Fucking spots!_ His freckles were not his favorite trait and it bugged him that they carried into his wolf. He pushed the annoyance aside and focused on the image. 

His mind drifted to Christmas, Sam and Jess, Castiel watching back to the future last week with that little furrow in his brow. He pulled himself back. He felt the couch under him, the weight of his body pressing into the cushions where his ass and thighs touched, where his shoulders and head made contact. He breathed through his nose and pictured the wolf. 

An image started to develop, slowly this time, like a polaroid coming into focus. He saw a wolf, its brown face and green eyes peering into the shiny silver water bowl. In its mouth was something blue. He could see where its teeth had torn into the thing leaving small ragged edges in places. Behind it was a dark shape. 

The image vanished. His heart was beating faster now; the lazy trot becoming a steady gallop. He tried to bring it back, to refocus but his mind was spinning. He’d done it again! 

He sat up, grinning ear to ear. Cas was beside him, his eyes closed, his features relaxed and Dean took a moment to just look at him. He could see the faint lines where his eyes crinkled when he laughed and the five o’clock shadow across his chin that never seemed to go away. His mouth was open, his lips parted slightly as he breathed. His bottom lip was chapped and for an instant Dean’s fingers itched to rub against it, to soothe the soreness there. 

He leaned back again, trying to stay quiet. Last time, he’d broken Cas’ concentration in his excitement. 

He was just dozing off when Cas stirred. He stretched and bumped his knee against Dean’s thigh. Dean opened his eyes and couldn’t help but notice the sliver of skin that was exposed when Cas moved. Cas caught him looking and Dean felt his face heat up.

“How’d it go?” he said, ignoring Dean’s embarrassment. 

“Great! I think I saw myself this time, and maybe you, I’m not sure. The wolf was looking in the water bowl and it had my jeans in its mouth – my mouth I guess. There was a dark shape behind it and I got this feeling like it was you.” He hadn’t realized it until he said it but that was true, he had felt Cas’ presence behind him in the memory. 

Cas smiled at him, one of the gummy ones that lit up his whole face. “That’s great, Dean! I saw some of that too, us playing with your clothes, I mean. We had a tug of war with the shirt. I’m pretty sure you and I won, if Gabriel sulking off by himself is any indication.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Alright, Sammy, I gotta go.” Dean said as he pulled into the Novak’s driveway. He let the truck idle, the heat blowing warmly against his face and hands. He wasn’t particularly fond of the old Dodge, a hand me down from Bobby’s scrap yard, but it did have some perks that the impala didn’t; the ability to drive through heavy snow without getting stuck (most of the time) and a working heater. 

“You going out or something?” Sam asked with a hint of amusement in his voice. 

“I’m going to Cas’, if you must know.” 

Sam made an indecipherable noise on the other end of the line. 

“What?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s interesting that you’re spending your Saturday night with Cas instead of cruising the roadhouse or something.” 

“Shut up, Sam. I do other stuff.” To be honest, he didn’t know the last time he’d been to the roadhouse to try to pick someone up. He and Cas went there for dinner sometimes and on one memorable occasion Cas had hustled him at pool. He snorted and smiled at the memory. Cas with his big dumb doe eyes and his little confused head tilt watching Dean show him how to use a cue and then slaughtering him two turns later with a smug smile on his face. The guy said he used geometry! He shook his head. 

“-just saying, you guys seem really close and all. You talk about him all the time and don’t think I haven’t noticed how gooey your eyes get either. You sure it’s not something more than that?” Sam’s voice cut through his thoughts. 

“What? No. What?” he said. 

Sam scoffed into the phone and Dean could feel his bitchface from here. “You weren’t even listening. Fine I’ll let you go. Have fun on your date!” 

“It’s not a date!” Dean said. 

“Right.” Sam didn’t sound convinced. 

“It’s not, Sam.”

“Whatever, Dean. I know you and you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” His little brother’s voice was petulant and before he could answer, Sam hung up. 

Dean groaned and shut off the engine. He opened the door and picked up the pie tin from the passenger seat, gingerly cradling it against his chest with one arm. With the other he locked the door and slammed it shut. He made the trek up the sidewalk slowly, trying not to slip or drop anything. Someone had shoveled earlier in the day but the snow had started again around lunch time and the new layer had had just enough time to settle and harden. 

He pushed open the door and stepped inside, stomping the snow off his boots on the mat and hanging his jacket and scarf up. One handed, the task took longer than usual but he got it done eventually and made his way to the kitchen. 

Cas was at the stove, his back to Dean as he entered. He was wearing a gray sweater that looked soft and pulled just right across his shoulders. He was humming something and swaying as he stirred a pot in front of him. In the air, Dean could smell broth of some kind, rich and full of herbs, along with cut vegetables. 

“Smells good.” He said as he set the pie down on the counter. 

“I hope so. I made it out of our Thanksgiving leftovers.” Cas said. He took a clean spoon off the counter and dipped it in the pot, blowing on it gently before sipping the contents. “Hope you don’t mind turkey vegetable soup and rolls.” 

“Sounds great. I brought pie for dessert.” 

Cas turned and flashed him a smile. “Did you make it?” 

“I did. It’s my mom’s recipe. Caramel apple – fucking delicious. You’re lucky I still had some left.” Dean said.   
What he did not say was that he’d made this pie last night specifically to share with his friends. He also did not mention that this morning, he’d eaten a piece of it just to make it look like leftovers. “Anything I can do to help?” 

“No. Everything is almost ready.” Cas said. He leaned down to check the oven and Dean lost his train of thought for a moment. 

“Want me to tell Gabe?” he finally said once Cas stood up again and he fished his mind out of the gutter.

“He’s out. Roadhouse, I think? I’m pretty sure he’s dating one of the bartenders now. What’s her name, Kali?” 

Dean whistled picturing the woman. She was all things tall, dark, and gorgeous finished off with a sharp tongue and blistering wit. Dean had seen more than one guy too intimidated to even order a drink from her.

“Damn. Talk about out of his league. How the hell did he pull that off?” 

“Gabriel can be quite charming when he wants to be. He’s brash and loud, brutally honest most of the time, but he does have a sense of humor.” Cas said. He sipped the spoon again. “Needs salt.” 

The soup was delicious and Dean ate two bowls of it. Bellies mostly sated, they took their pie into the living room. Cas turned on the tv and hit play on the remote. 

“What’re we watching?” Dean asked. He took a bite of the pie and sighed happily around his fork. The apples still had just the right amount of crunch, the spices were balanced well, and the caramel was sweet but not too sweet. 

“Star Trek four” Cas said. His pie plate was teetering on his knee as he flipped through the DVD menu and Dean felt a little anxious for him to try it already. 

“Really, Cas? I mean, I know I said you should see Star Trek but number four? It’s universally known that that’s the worst one.” 

“If I am going to watch a series, I want to watch the whole thing. Plus, I asked Charlie about it and she said she loves this one. Something about homoerotic subtext.” 

He said the words with such earnest enthusiasm that Dean felt bad for laughing but he couldn’t help it either. 

“God that’s adorable. Charlie’s one of those girls, huh? Well I can’t say I blame her. Kirk and Spock would make a cute couple.” 

“Indeed.” Cas said. He brought the plate up and finally, _finally_ took a bite. He groaned and began nodding his head.

“You like it?” Dean asked. His chest felt warm, a bubble of pride filling it. 

“God Dean, it’s wonderful. Maybe better than Gabriel’s – but don’t tell him that.” He said. He dove into another bite and for a moment the room was silent except for the movie and Cas’ happy chewing. “Your mother is a genius.” 

“Yeah, she was.” Dean said. His smile was bittersweet and when Cas noticed it, his face fell. 

“Oh. I’m sorry Dean, you never said.” He started, and then stopped himself. “This is a wonderful recipe and I’m glad you have it to remember her by.”

“So am I.” 

Dean watched the screen, the opening credits rolling by and the theme song in the air. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Cas said. His voice was quieter now. Dean turned to look at him and saw nothing but care and concern in his eyes. No pity at all, which he was glad for. 

“She died when I was little. We had a house fire and she went upstairs to get Sam, didn’t realize Dad had already gotten both of us out.” Dean said. His throat burned, a thick band of emotion tightening around it. “I can still remember holding Sam’s hand and Dad telling us to run to the neighbors. He was only three, he started crying cause we’d woken him up and he was tired. He didn’t want to run.” 

“Oh, Dean.” Cas said. He reached out and clasped Dean’s hand in his own. When Dean looked down, he realized his hands were balled into fists. 

“She died and in a way, Dad did too. He started drinking after that and never really pulled himself out of it. When I was ten we moved here with Bobby. He and Dad were old friends and he just took us in like it was nothing. Eventually Dad started leaving for long stretches, you know? But Bobby didn’t care. He kept us fed, kept us in school.” 

“He must be a wonderful man.”

Dean chuckled, “He is but don’t let him hear you say that. To him it was just what had to be done, taking us in, he refuses to admit it was something special.” Dean shook his head slowly. “I think it hurt him when we left for California. He understood but it was still hard on him. That’s part of why I came back.” He stopped for a moment, the emotion getting the better of him. He cleared his throat. “Sam doesn’t really need me anymore anyway; he’s twenty seven with a great career and now a great girlfriend. Time to cut the strings, I guess.” 

“Not cut.” Cas said. His fingers tightened around Dean’s hand, his thumb brushing softly against his wrist. “Maybe let them out a bit, give him some room.” His tone was verging on playful and when Dean looked, the corner of his mouth was turned up just slightly. Cautiously. A small signal designed to let Dean know he could let the conversation fade if he wanted. 

Dean was overwhelmed by the gesture and looked away, blinking damp lashes. “Yeah” he said but his voice was hoarse and probably gave him away. 

Dean stared at the screen, not really watching the movie but resolutely not looking at Cas. Cas’s thumb continued its soft stroking of his wrist but his attention was turned to the screen as well. 

After a while, Cas spoke. “The other day you asked me about Gabriel and going out in the snow.”

Dean waited but when Cas didn’t continue, he answered, “Yeah. I remember.” 

Cas let out a deep sigh. “It’s a long story but I’ll tell you if you want to hear it.”

Dean looked over at him and Cas’ eyes were anxious. “Sure, Cas. You know I’ll always listen.”

He watched him closely for a moment before nodding, a resolute dip of his head, and turning back to the screen. 

“Our father died in the winter. It had been snowing for days but we all went out as usual, turning in separate locations on the property. In the morning, I woke up under a tree covered in leaves and snow. The first memories that came to me were of hearing a gunshot and the smell of blood, so I ran. The snow had covered all of our tracks in the night and I got lost, which almost never happened because we’d been on the same property for so long. Gabriel says the stress probably didn’t help. When I finally made it back to the house, Gabriel was there and –“ 

He paused. Dean laced their fingers together, pressing gently. Cas looked down at their interlocked hands. 

“He told me our father was missing. He’d remembered the shots too, so we got dressed and went looking for him. We found him a few hours later. The cops didn’t know what to make of it and we couldn’t exactly explain why he’d been out in the snow, in the middle of the woods, naked. They did an autopsy and found massive internal bleeding but no injuries – the bullets had gone straight through and the wounds had apparently healed even as he was dying. A few days later a rumor started going around about a hunter who swore that he shot a wolf but it got away from him. No one believed him because wolves are pretty much nonexistent in Illinois but we knew.”

Dean’s heart ached for his friend, a physical pain in his chest. He tugged gently on their joined hands and pulled Cas into the circle of his arms. He held the other man against him, each ones chin hooked over the other ones shoulder. The position was awkward while sitting but Dean ignored the slight twinge in his back. After a moment, Cas pulled away. His face was next to Dean’s, his voice soft in Dean’s ear. 

“I know it was a fluke thing and that the majority of the time people obey our warning signs and respect our fences.” 

Dean felt a wave of guilt wash over him. His hands had dropped to the other man’s waist and he squeezed, wanting to apologize but holding back so as not to interrupt. 

“Something about the snow and the idea of being out there and getting lost has stuck with me. I know it’s irrational but I keep thinking if it had happened in the summer, we would have found him right away, maybe even saved him.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that. He settled on, “I’m sorry, Cas.”

Cas sniffled and Dean pulled him close again. 

He wasn’t sure who started it but eventually they were laying stretched out across the couch, Cas’ body tucked into the vee of his legs, his head on Dean’s chest. Dean ran fingers through his hair and watched his face in the shifting light of the tv. Cas’ eyes were wet and red rimmed but he wasn’t actually crying. He had one hand splayed across Dean’s hip, his fingers tensing and releasing rhythmically. 

The silence was heavy but not oppressive and filled with something else. Something had shifted between them, of that Dean was certain because platonic friends, male friends, didn’t lay together like this. He turned it over in his mind, trying to decide whether it was a good thing or not. Part of him was still afraid of losing what they had, and more selfishly, of losing the only other werewolves he knew but a bigger part of him felt safe and happy wrapped up with his best friend this way. 

After a while he felt himself relax. They would need to talk about it eventually and decide where to go from here, but for now he was content. He stared at the screen, watching as the crew of the Enterprise successfully brought two whales forward in time. He ran a hand down Cas’ back noticing that the sweater was just as soft as it looked and that Cas had more muscle there then he’d realized. 

“It doesn’t seem fair.” Cas said. His voice rumbled against Dean’s chest and Dean jumped a little at the break in the silence. 

“What doesn’t?” 

“The whales. They’re going to be all alone and even if they mate, how many generations can they really interbreed before they die off anyway? It’s cruel.” 

Without thinking about it, Dean pressed a kiss into the top of Cas’ head. “I told you that you wouldn’t like this one.”

Cas tilted his face up, “No you didn’t. You just said it was terrible, in general.” 

Dean rolled his eyes fondly and Cas smirked at him before turning back to the screen. “Smartass.”


	13. Chapter 13

Cas threw extra blankets down on the floor and surveyed the room. December had been especially cold this year and he wondered again if they should invest in adding the basement into the central heating. He shook his head and dispersed the thought. He had enough to worry about at the moment without that too. He’d had a space heater running downstairs most of the day and the room, while not warm, was at least a few degrees warmer than when he’d first entered it. 

If their wolves got cold, they could just snuggle up together, he thought. The idea sent a little thrill through him and he smiled. 

His relationship with Dean had changed, shifted after Thanksgiving and their big heart to heart. They hadn’t talked about it but he felt like this was the beginning of something. Now, they made excuses to see each other more than just on movie night. They still texted constantly but now they sometimes called too, just to talk, to hear the other ones voice. There were casual touches; a hand on the small of his back as they passed in the kitchen, a hip bump as they washed dishes side by side, or an arm around his shoulders on the couch. Dean taking his hand when they walked together or over the top of the table during dinner; his calloused palm rough against Cas’ own, his fingers tentative at first but then squeezing resolutely. 

Their first kiss was an accident. Dean was leaving, saying his goodbyes under the yellow porchlight and Cas leaned out and kissed him, just like that, a soft press of lips. It was so natural, he didn’t even realize it until Dean was already at the bottom of the steps. When he turned back, he looked stunned. Almost immediately, they both moved, closing the distance and kissing more intensely this time – with purpose. 

They hadn’t had sex yet, only going as far as making out on the couch, half naked with their hands roaming freely. He was normally quick to get someone in bed but with Dean, there was no urgency. The whole thing felt so right that he knew deep down it would happen eventually. He could wait. 

He jumped, startled out of his thoughts by the sound of the front door closing. 

“Cas?” Dean called, his voice sounding far away. 

Cas climbed the steps quickly and almost ran into the other man at the top. He stopped short, their chests a mere inch from one another. 

“Hello Dean.” He said, hoping his voice sounded steady. 

“Hey Cas.” Dean replied. A slow smile spread across his face and Cas couldn’t help but mirror it. 

“I brought dinner.” Dean motioned over his shoulder with his thumb but didn’t move away. 

“What did you bring?” Cas said. He could practically feel the heat radiating off of Dean’s body and wanted nothing more than to press them together and feel it for himself. His fingers itched to twist into the flannel of Dean’s over shirt. 

“Chinese. Quick and easy.” He said. “Hungry?” 

When he said it, his eyes dropped to Cas’ mouth and Cas unconsciously licked his lip. 

“Starving!” Gabriel called as he strolled into the room. “Ugh you two and the staring. Enough already.” He groused. 

Dean sighed and took a step back, allowing Cas to move past him. Cas went to the fridge, hiding his flushed face inside for a moment before reappearing with beers in his hand. He passed them out while Gabe and Dean opened stryofoam containers and small cardboard boxes all over the counter. 

They were all a pack anyway, so Cas passed out forks and napkins, forgoing plates, and they each dug in to the communal pile. 

Dean snorted and almost choked on his beef and broccoli when Gabriel started telling them about his most recent fight with his girlfriend Kali. They’d only been seeing each other for a month but they’d already broken up and gotten back together twice. 

“So I told her I didn’t like it when she walked home late at night, alone, and you know what she did?” 

Cas raised a questioning eyebrow. The shrimp fried rice he was eating was salty and a little spicy, heavy with garlic. 

“She pulled a knife on me! One of those slim little stiletto things with a pearl handle for god’s sake. She said her brother gave it to her for her sixteenth birthday. Can you believe that?” He shook his head as he took a giant bite out of an eggroll. 

Dean whistled and smiled over his noodles. “That lady is officially a bad ass. What the hell is she doing with you again?”

Gabe shrugged. “Must be my good looks or my abilities in the sack, I guess.” He said nonchalantly. 

Dean laughed, coughing once and taking a long drink of his beer. 

Castiel watched the interaction fondly. He liked that the two of them got along. At first it was nice because they were a pack and pack dynamics always worked best when everyone was at least friendly with one another. Now though, with whatever was happening between himself and Dean, he appreciated it all the more. 

He wondered if he would like Sam. He’d finally met Bobby last week when he’d gone by the shop to bring Dean lunch one day and the older man had turned out to be everything Dean had said and more. He was gruff, rough around the edges, but hospitable and the amount of love in his eyes when he looked at Dean or clapped a hand on his back and called him an _Idjit_ for forgetting his lunch was awe inspiring. If Dean’s description of Sam was even half as accurate as his description of Bobby, Cas thought they would get along just fine. 

“Earth to Cas.” Dean said. Cas blinked sharply and realized he was being stared at. 

“What?” 

“Wow man, we totally lost you there for a minute.” Dean said. Cas could see a hint of concern in his eyes. 

“Sorry. Something just popped in my head and distracted me. What were you saying?” 

“I was saying that I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go grab something from the truck.”

Cas nodded and Dean hopped off his stool and headed out the door. 

“You’ve got it bad, Cassie.” Gabriel said. He was working his way through a container of sugar covered fried dough balls and he pointed with one sticky finger. “He’s totally into you, you know that, right?” 

Cas tried to look indignant but he couldn’t suppress the warm feeling in his chest at hearing the words, even out of his brother’s mouth. 

“Yes, Gabe. I’m aware.” 

“Good. He’s good people and I think he’s almost good enough for you – just don’t tell him I said that.” Gabe said. He glared menacingly until Cas nodded and then went back to his sugary treat. 

The front door slammed and Dean grumbled something in the hallway. 

“Damn wind. Sorry about that, didn’t mean to slam the door.” He said as he came back in. His cheeks were pink from the cold, his freckles standing out against them. 

From behind his back he produced two messily wrapped packages. 

“I know Christmas isn’t for another two weeks or whatever but I wanted to give you guys these now, before everything got hectic.” He said. He passed them each a present and Cas hurriedly wiped his fingers on a napkin before accepting it. 

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said, feeling a little overwhelmed and more than a little curious. The package in his hand, wrapped in blue and silver paper patterned with snowflakes, was small and light. 

“You haven’t even opened it yet.” Dean said. 

Across the bar, Gabe tore into his. He let out a whoop and grinned ear to ear as a _Cupcakes, Candies, and other Treats_ cookbook was revealed. 

“I know you like the sweet stuff.” Dean said. He rubbed at the back of his neck self-consciously but Gabe was still grinning at him. 

“Damn right I do! I’m going to pack on at least fifteen pounds with this baby. Thanks, Winchester!” He said as he flipped the book open. “I haven’t gotten yours yet. Was planning on just buying you booze actually. Whiskey, right?” 

Dean cracked a smile and laughed. “Yeah. Whiskey is great. Thanks Gabe.”

Gabe didn’t respond, too busy holding the book open with one hand and using the other to unwrap a fortune cookie. 

Cas looked down at his package and gently pulled at the corners, getting his finger under the edge and sliding it across. When he got it open, he revealed a small book with a worn green cloth cover. In flaking gold script the front was labeled _Wild Geese by Mary Oliver_. 

“That’s the one you were talking about the other day, right?”

When Cas looked up Dean was watching him closely. His eyes were wide and curious, hopeful even. Cas surged forward, wrapping his arms around Dean’s shoulders and pulling him close, the book still clasped in one hand. 

“I can’t believe you found it! I can’t believe you remembered.” He said. His voice was hoarse, raw with emotion. 

They’d been sitting in Benny’s eating dinner and something Dean said brought to mind a poem. Cas could only partially remember it and had kept repeating the phrase throughout the night, wracking his brain for the rest of the piece. Eventually Dean googled the fragment on his phone in frustration and read him the entire thing.

“Of course I remembered. I had the words, you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves, in my head for weeks.” 

Cas chuckled, a light thing full of joy. He squeezed Dean again before pressing their lips together. Dean’s mouth was soft and pliant, his tongue warm against Cas’. 

“Thank you. It’s wonderful.” He said when he finally stepped back. His lips tingled and he felt the low thrum of arousal in his belly.

Dean ducked his head, his eyes on the floor. “It’s nothing. I’m glad you like it.” He said, and then hesitantly, “Maybe you can read me another one sometime.” 

“Of course, Dean. Whenever you’d like.” He said. 

They finished dinner quietly. Gabriel ooh’d and ahh’d over the recipes in his book, pointing out mint chocolate truffles, cookie brownie hybrids, and a cupcake with a molten chocolate center. Dean and Cas sat side by side, their ankles linked together on the rung of Cas’ bar stool. 

When the sky started to darken outside, they all headed to the basement, leaving their shoes in a neat line by the door. 

They each stripped and covered up with a heavy comforter. Gabriel, as always, flopped onto the pallet and stretched out, yawning widely. Dean and Cas sat near to each other, each with their legs drawn up tight and their arms folded. Cas tried to focus his mind and concentrate on his breathing but he was reciting poems in his head and couldn’t keep on task. 

When the turn happened, he reached out for Dean like he’d done before but this time, Dean actually took his hand. His grip was tight, a sign of his distress, but Cas felt grounded by the touch anyway and hoped Dean felt the same. 

\-------

When he woke up, his mind was hazy with sleep. He was warm and comfortable, snuggled close to someone. He could feel a strong arm around his waist pulling his body in tight and legs tangled with his own. He let his eyes open slowly and took in Dean’s sleeping face. His mouth was parted, his features relaxed. He was beautiful. 

He lifted his head and surveyed the room but didn’t see any sign of Gabriel. His brother waking up before him was odd but not unheard of and in this instance he sent up a little prayer of thanks for it. 

Cas sighed happily. His arms were pinned between their chests and he wiggled one free, pulling the blanket up higher before running a gentle hand down Dean’s side. Dean’s grip tightened, pulling him in closer. They were each half hard and when Cas’ cock came in contact with the hot skin of Dean’s hip, Dean’s doing the same to him, he groaned softly. 

It was the closest they’d ever been and although he didn’t want to pull away, he also didn’t want to do anything while Dean was asleep. He brushed a hand down Dean’s cheek, feeling the scratch of stubble there, before running his thumb across Dean’s parted lips. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his mouth, soft and unhurried. Dean stirred, snuffling a little before tucking his face into their makeshift pillow. Cas chuckled and sighed. 

He settled back down, pulling away slightly to put more space between them but Dean wouldn’t allow it and pulled him right back in. He groaned again when their hips made contact. He stayed still, trying to minimize his arousal but the heat and press of Dean against him was a lot to ignore. He focused on Dean’s face once more, mapping his freckles. He had small barely there ones on his eyelids and his chin with more prominent ones on his nose and cheeks. Cas lifted the blanket, tracing the sweep of them down his neck and to the tops of his shoulders. He must spend time outside shirtless in the summer, he thought, not at all displeased with the image. 

“Staring is creepy, Cas.” Dean mumbled, his face still turned into the bunched up blanket. 

“Just admiring. Not staring.” Cas said simply. 

“Like what you see?” Dean’s voice was thick was sleep and Cas felt fondness well up in his chest. 

“Yes. Very much.” 

Dean’s eyes fluttered open then, squinting a little as they adjusted to the darkness. He shifted, his body fitting even more snugly against Cas’. 

“You feel good,” he said, tightening his hold and pulling Cas impossibly close. “Is this ok?”

Cas nodded, unable to speak. He leaned in and kissed Dean again, their stubble rasping together, Dean’s tongue hot and slick beside his own. Dean rolled his hips and Cas gasped, the sensation tingling up his spine. Dean moaned into his mouth, moving to kiss down his neck as he repeated the motion. After a few minutes, Dean rolled them so that Cas was pinned under his weight. 

They set up a gentle rhythm with their hips as their hands and mouths explored one another. Dean’s rough palms brushed over Cas’ shoulders and down his sides, gripped his waist and thighs. His mouth was hot and insistent on Cas’ skin, trailing down his neck and across his collarbones and making him shiver. Cas grabbed at Dean’s biceps, feeling the muscles there tensing and flexing beneath the skin. Dean’s ass was perfection in his hands and he squeezed it liberally, causing Dean to stutter his rhythm and moan softly. 

Eventually Dean reached between them, his large hand partially encircling both of their cocks. Precome and sweat helped the slide but the friction was still just this side of too much. Sensation flowed through him in waves and pooled in his gut. Dean leaned down again, propping himself on his forearm as he began to thrust. The roughness of his hand and the silky hardness of his dick were too much for Cas. He groaned, arching his back and pushing his cock into the tunnel of Dean’s fist in tandem with Dean’s own. 

It didn’t take long for the heat in Cas’ belly to overwhelm him. His body went tense for a moment as his orgasm rolled through him. Afterwards, he lay panting, his fingers and toes tingling. Dean moaned above him, panting out his name in harsh breaths. His hips had stopped but Cas could feel his hand moving now, stroking himself fast and hard. Cas reached between them, wrapping his fingers loosely around Dean’s. Dean groaned his name one more time, his eyes squeezing shut as he spilled into their combined fists and across Cas’ stomach. 

He rolled to the side, flopping down next to Cas as they each took a moment to catch their breath. Dean leaned over and pressed a kiss to Cas’ shoulder before he curled up on his side, a leg and arm draped across Cas’ body. He was hot and they were both tacky with sweat, but the closeness still felt wonderful. 

“Wow.” Dean said finally. He sounded winded. 

“Yeah.” Cas replied, all eloquence lost. 

Dean kissed his cheek, one hand reaching up to cup his face and tilt it towards him. He kissed him then, his mouth soft this time, slow and probing. Cas opened to him and let him take what he wanted. 

“God Cas, you’re awesome.” Dean said and then he groaned. “Ugh that was lame.” 

Cas chuckled even as he nodded. “Very. But thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” 

They laid there until Cas could feel the sweat and come on his skin cooling into a sticky, uncomfortable mess. 

“We need a shower.” He said. 

Dean made a garbled noise as he tucked his face into Cas’ neck. 

“You can stay and sleep but I’m getting up.” He said. He patted Dean’s thigh and Dean reluctantly moved it. 

He stood, stealing the blanket from Dean and wrapping himself up in it. Dean rolled onto his back and glared at him from his position on the floor. His body was everything Cas had imagined it would be; toned and broad across his chest with a little softness at his stomach and hips. His legs bowed charmingly and even in the cold air, and after just having come, his cock was something to behold. 

“What did I tell you? Staring is creepy.” Dean said but he didn’t make any move to cover himself either.

“Still just admiring.” Cas said. He held a hand out to Dean and Dean rolled his eyes fondly before sitting up and taking it. He crowded in close until Cas opened the blanket and let him inside. 

His skin was cold, even after only a few minutes in the air, and Cas hissed through his teeth. 

“Shouldn’t have stolen the blanket.” Dean said. 

Cas grunted in response. “We can’t get upstairs like this. Get your own.” He said petulantly. 

Dean laughed, kissing the tip of his nose before pulling away and grabbing for another comforter. He wrapped himself up and then stopped, his head turning quickly as he examined the room. 

“What?” 

“I just realized I forgot all about Gabe. He’s not down here, is he?” 

Cas chuckled, shaking his head. “No. He left before we woke up. I promise you; I would not have done all of that with him in the room.” 

Dean visibly relaxed. “Good. Cause that’s a bit too kinky, even for me.” 

“Even for you?” 

Dean’s blush was brilliant but he covered it with a wink as he walked past and started up the stairs. 

After their shower, which was only a little too handsy and lasted until most of the hot water was gone, they took their usual places in the living room. Cas came in with a small gift bag in hand and set it on Dean’s lap. 

“I should have given you this last night but I got a bit overwhelmed and well – anyway, Merry Christmas.” He said. 

Dean pulled the green tissue paper out, tossing it to the floor haphazardly. Cas felt his heart rate quicken and his stomach twist with nervousness. He pulled the book out of the bag, his thumbs rubbing the soft leather of the cover. It was tan with dark stitching and a small strap that wound around and tied to keep it closed. Inside the pages were cream colored with rough edges and lines in deep green ink. 

“It’s a journal, for your meditation or whatever else you’d like. I saw it and it made me think of you.” 

Dean was still staring at the gift, flipping through the blank pages and running his fingers along the spine. 

“Wow, Cas. I don’t know what to say.” He said and then added, “Thank you. This is great.” 

He flipped back to the front and ran his fingers along the inside of the cover. At the bottom left hand corner the letters DMW were stamped into the leather. 

“How did you?” he looked up, his eyes meeting Cas’ finally. “How did you figure this out? I don’t remember telling you my middle name,” he said. His eyebrow raised at the question and Cas looked away sheepishly. 

“I may have had Charlie looks some things up for me.”

“You had your hacker best friend cyber stalk me?” Dean said but his eyes were full of humor and the smirk on his lips was unmistakable. 

“I wanted to personalize it and for it to be a surprise!” 

Dean hummed thoughtfully. He reached out and Cas came to him, settling in. The weight of Dean’s arm around his shoulders was comforting. 

“So did she find out anything good?”

Cas laughed, shaking his head. “Not really. Although apparently your ex-girlfriend Bella wrote online that you were self-centered and more in love with your car than any man should be but that you were also great in bed – or something to that effect.”

“Geez. Well that’s embarrassing.”

“Everybody is entitled to their opinion, Dean.” Cas said, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. 

Dean shoved at him playfully. “Smartass.”


	14. Chapter 14

Dean woke to the familiar clomping of his brothers footsteps on the front stairs. He sat up, throwing off the blanket he’d been watching tv underneath, and went to the door. Sam and Jess were on the porch, looking tired and travel weary. Dean had offered to pick them up from the airport, had insisted really but Sam argued with him that it was a waste of time. They wanted to rent a car so they could drive around and not be stuck at Bobby’s anyway, he said. Now that their flight had been delayed for over six hours due to the weather and they’d had to drive through the snow, Dean felt a smug satisfaction that Sam probably wished he’d taken Dean up on his offer. 

“Looking good, Sammy.” He said, reaching up to snatch the knit hat off of his head. His hair was a disaster underneath and Dean chuckled when he saw it. 

“Dean!” Sam said but his indignation was tempered by exhaustion. 

“Come on in. Let the lady go first, you animal.” Dean said as he opened the door wide. Jess pushed past Sam and stepped inside, immediately enveloping him in a hug. 

“Hey Dean, it’s nice to finally meet you.” She said. Her smile was radiant and she was even more beautiful than skype had led him to believe. 

Dean grinned over her shoulder, winking in Sam’s direction. Sam rolled his eyes as he shut the door. 

“You better watch out Sammy, I might just steal this one away.” 

Jess punched him lightly in the arm as Sam faked a laugh. “Ha Ha Dean, really funny. I bet Cas would have something to say about that.” He raised his eyebrow, daring his brother to disagree. 

“Shuddup, Sasquatch.” Dean said. His heart skipped a beat at the mention of Cas and he felt a small wave of embarrassment at the reaction. He really had it bad for the guy. 

Sam’s smile was smug as he led Jess into the living room and flopped down onto the couch, pulling her with him. 

“The old man still up?” 

“He’s with Rufus. Tonight’s the first night of Hanukkah or something.”

“On Christmas Eve? Weird.” 

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell ya. So Jess, how was the trip?” 

They made small talk for another hour or so before Jess couldn’t keep her eyes open and even Sam was yawning between responses. Dean shooed them both off to bed. He straightened up downstairs one more time before heading up to his room. 

His phone was on the charger where he left it. 

Castiel: _Michael is making us watch Christmas movies. He says it’s for Samandriel but Samandriel is nineteen and asleep in the chair. He still won’t let me change the channel._

Castiel: _I think Gabriel may have actually eaten his weight in sugar cookies today._

Castiel: _He is also asleep in a chair._

Castiel: _Did Sam and Jess make it ok? I saw something about weather delays before Michael changed the channel._

Castiel: _Anna gave me spiked hot chocolate. My night is looking up._

Castiel: _Are you still awake?_

Dean grinned as he made his way through the messages. The last one had arrived about twenty minutes ago, so he decided to chance it and hit the call button. The phone rang twice before Cas picked up. 

“Hello Dean.” 

“Hey Cas. Did I wake you?” 

“No. I was just laying here reading.” 

Dean hummed in acknowledgement as he laid down on the bed and propped his head on a pillow. “Anything good?” 

“Just a book of poetry a handsome young man gave me.” 

“So I’ve got competition, huh?” 

Cas chuckled on the other end of the line and the sound caused the soft burn of arousal to make its way through him. 

“I am a very desirable man, Dean.” 

“Don’t I know it.” Dean said. He imagined Cas in bed, the large t-shirt he normally slept in gone for the sake of fantasy, his hair a mess, his tongue just barely poking out the corner of his mouth as his eyes swept the page. He trailed one hand down and adjusted himself in his sweats. “Read to me?”

“Really?”

“Yeah really.” His voice was huskier than normal and when Cas spoke, he could hear the smile there that signaled he’d noticed the change. He put the phone on speaker and nestled it into the pillow beside him. 

“Alright. Let me see.” Cas made a thoughtful humming noise as he turned the pages. “Ok this one is called Morning Poem. Every morning, the world, is created, under the orange-“

Dean closed his eyes and listened, letting the deep rumble of Cas’ voice wash over him. His voice was whiskey on the rocks, silk over stones, both hard and soft at once and it made its way into Dean’s body, lighting up his nerves. He palmed at his cock through the thick material of his sweats, groaning weakly at the touch. 

“-and fasten themselves to the high branches, and the ponds appear, like black cloth, on which are painted islands –“

He stroked a few times through the fabric, the soft textured drag sending shivers through him and causing his dick to harden. When it got to be too much he dipped his hand inside, the thick elastic waistband catching his forearm and holding it tight against his body. He imagined Cas’ long graceful fingers and smooth palm in place of his own. 

“-for hours, your imagination, alighting everywhere, and if your spirit, carries within it –“

He drew in short sharp breaths. He imagined Cas in bed with him, the long line of his body pressed against Dean’s side. Those deep blue eyes watching his face as Dean panted and writhed under his touch. Cas had this look of concentration when he touched Dean; calculating and assessing his every reaction and recording them for further use. Sometimes he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting it until the skin changed colors. Dean groaned as the image filled his mind and he heard Cas voice stutter in response.

“-there - there is still, somewhere deep within you, a beast shouting that the earth, is exactly what it wanted –“

He stroked himself fully, squeezing tighter at the top of each stroke. He imagined Cas’ fingers inside him, a milestone they’d only recently reached, and felt precome slick his hand. Cas had learned his way around Dean’s body quickly, and within minutes Dean had been holding onto the sheets for dear life as Cas’ fingers pumped in and out of him with expert ease, his mouth hot and tight around him. He moaned again, possibly too loud for the current number of people in the house, and he heard Cas swear under his breath. 

“Dean, did you?” he asked, his voice sounding rough. 

Dean shook his head and then forced himself to speak. “No. Close though. God Cas, your voice – fuck, you’re so sexy.”

Cas’ chuckle was dark and half delirious. “Come on, Dean. Let me hear you. I wish I was there with you, my hand on your cock and my mouth on your neck. I’d nibble that spot you like behind your ear, maybe mark you. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” 

He imagined Cas’ mouth on his neck, the small spark of pain as he sucked hard and brought blood to the surface. He was way too old for the idea of a hickey to be so hot but damn if it didn’t do it for him. He moaned brokenly, his hips lifting off the bed, his toes curling as he came hot and wet into his fist. 

His body collapsed and the phone jostled. He heard Cas’ breathing on the other end of the line. 

“Cas?” 

“Jesus Dean. You don’t even know how you sound do you? It’s taking everything in me to keep it together right now.”

It took a moment for his brain to process the words; he was a little bit lightheaded. “Why are you?” he asked. 

“It’s my cousin’s room, but don’t worry, as soon as we hang up I am taking a strangely late in the evening shower, family be damned.” 

Dean laughed, a giddy breathless sound. Once he regained his composure, he picked up the phone, holding it to his ear again. 

“Sorry man. I don’t know what got into me. I just miss you and then you started talking and I had this image in my head of you reading and,” he groaned as he rubbed a hand down his face, “I hope that was ok. I didn’t exactly ask first or anything.” 

“It was more than ok and I would have told you if it wasn’t. Plus, I already knew it was a possibility when I answered the phone. You and I talking in the middle of the night, while lying in bed – I gave us sixty-fourty odds.” 

Dean snorted into the phone. “Damn. Well I guess I can’t argue with that.” 

His eyes felt heavy and his whole body was relaxed; drowsy and sated. They talked for another few minutes about nothing really. 

“I should go.” Cas finally said. “It’s late and Michael likes to go to the early service on Christmas.” 

“I’m sure Gabe loves that.” 

“He usually skips it. He says he can’t handle that much sanctimoniousness that early in the morning.” Cas yawned and Dean’s mouth pulled up into a small smile. “I can’t say I blame him. The choir is beautiful though and the children do a small nativity scene that is usually very sweet. That’s why I go anyway.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Mhm.”

They sat in silence for a moment, neither one actually wanting to hang up. 

“Hey Cas,” Dean started as a thought popped into his head. “Do you want to meet Sam? They aren’t leaving until Friday and you get back Wednesday, right? I know it’s kind of short notice, so no pressure or anything.” 

He heard Cas pull in a sharp breath. “I’d love to meet him, Dean. Are you sure?” 

Dean smiled. “Yeah I’m sure. You’re both nerds, how could you not get along?” he said. He laughed at the indignant snort Cas made on the other end of the line. “Plus, I want to show you both off. It’ll be fun.” 

“I agree. From what you’ve told me, I think we will get along very well.”

“Awesome. Then get some sleep and we’ll work out the details later.”

“Goodnight Dean. Sleep well.” 

“Night Cas. Talk to you tomorrow.” 

\---------------------

Dean paced the living room, straightening and re-straightening everything. Sam watched with amused eyes while Jess politely focused on her book. 

“Dude. Sit down already. It’s fine.” Sam said after another three circuits of the room. “Cas isn’t going to care what the house looks like. I’m surprised he’s never been over here actually, given that you’re dating or whatever now.”

He was smirking and Dean kind of wanted to punch him. Sam had been giving him shit for days because Cas and Dean still hadn’t put a label on their relationship. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t want to be Cas’ boyfriend, he just didn’t know how to bring it up at this point. 

Dean glared at Sam again, throwing up his hands and stalking back into the kitchen. He’d been lying to himself when he said he wasn’t nervous about Cas and Sam meeting. That night, orgasm drunk and sleepy, it had sounded like a perfect idea. He’d make dinner, pop in a movie, and they could all just hang out and chat. Now, with homemade lasagna in the ancient oven and knots in his stomach, he was struggling to get himself under control. 

What if Sam brought up the wolf “prank” from all those months ago? What if Cas didn’t think Sam lived up to what Dean had said about him? What if the whole night was an awkward mess? 

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Outside, he heard the crunch of tires over snow and his heart picked up its pace. Glancing at the microwave he confirmed that Cas was right on time, as always. He wiped his palms on his jeans, straightened his t-shirt, and headed for the front door. 

Under his heavy coat, Cas was dressed in a light blue button up shirt and dark wash jeans, both of which fit him perfectly. Dean groaned at the sight of him and pulled him into a hug before the door even shut behind them. 

They hadn’t seen each other in almost a week, a rare thing these days, and Dean felt his heart clench when he realized how much he’d actually missed the guy. 

“Hey Cas.” He said finally, mumbling into Cas’ scarf as his face pressed into his neck. 

“Hello Dean.” Cas replied. His hands were cold and Dean could feel the chill through the thin material of his shirt. 

When he finally pulled away he saw high spots of color on Cas’ cheeks and a small smile on his lips. 

“I, uh, missed you.” 

“I missed you too, Dean.” 

From behind him, Sam cleared his throat and Dean winced. Cas squeezed his hand as he took a deep breath and turned. 

“Guys, this is Cas – Castiel Novak. Cas, this is my brother Sam and his girlfriend Jess.”

Sam stepped forward, his large hand already extended. 

“Really great to meet you, Cas. Dean talks about you all the time.”

Dean’s face scrunched up at the comment but Cas just smiled at him and shook Sam’s hand. “He talks about you all the time as well. He’s very proud of you.” 

Sam grinned, his face lighting up as he looked over at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes. 

“It’s nice to meet you too Jessica. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here in South Dakota.”

Jess smiled warmly and shook his hand. “The snow is beautiful, but I’ve decided I like looking at it more from inside than driving or flying through it.” She said. 

Cas chuckled. “Yes. It really is something.” 

They stood awkwardly for another moment before Dean shooed everyone out of the entranceway and showed Cas where he could drop his jacket and scarf. 

They settled into the living room, Sam sat in Bobby’s recliner with Jess perched on the arm while Dean and Cas took seats on the couch. Cas’ thigh was warm against Dean’s. 

“So Cas, I’ve been meaning to thank you for not having us arrested way back when. We were idiots and I’m sure Dean’s already done it, but I’m sorry man.” 

Cas waved the comment away. “It’s fine, Sam. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Plus, if you hadn’t been there then Dean and I wouldn’t have met.” He looked over at Dean, their eyes catching. “And that would have been a shame.” 

Jess giggled softly. “You guys are sweet together.” 

Before Dean could respond, the oven timer beeped. He stood, tugging Cas’ hand and pulling him along into the kitchen. 

He opened the oven and the smells of tomato, basil, oregano, and ground beef wafted out. Cas groaned appreciatively as Dean pulled the hot tray out of the oven and set the dish on the stovetop. 

“Did you make this?” he asked as he stared down at the bubbling cheese. 

“Yup.”

“Why have Gabriel and I been cooking all this time, if you can cook like this?” 

Dean shrugged. “Your house, your kitchen. Didn’t want to impose, I guess.” 

“Impose away. Please.” Cas said. 

Dean slid a sheet pan of garlic bread into the oven, adjusting the temperature slightly. 

“Dean.” 

He turned and Cas boxed him in, shifting them so that Dean’s back was pressed to the cabinets. 

Dean swallowed hard, his eyes dropping to Cas’ mouth. Cas smirked before capturing his lips with his own. The kiss was all tongue and teeth and did wonders for making Dean relax. Cas took his hands, twining their fingers together and grounding him with the touch. When they finally parted, Dean was panting and slightly out of breath. He stared in awe at Cas’ equally flushed face. 

“Feeling better?” Cas asked. 

Dean nodded dumbly. “Yeah. Thanks Cas.” 

Cas squeezed his hands, bringing them up and kissing his knuckles. “It’s going to be fine Dean. We’re both nerds, remember?” 

Dean snorted and nodded his head. “Yeah. True.” 

They each grabbed a beer out of the fridge before making their way back into the living room. The ten minutes while the garlic bread was in the oven were filled with small talk and Dean couldn’t remember why he’d been nervous in the first place. 

The meal was delicious and everyone ate enthusiastically squeezed around the small kitchen table. Dean kept knocking knees with Sam and his thigh was pressed firmly against Castiel’s again. It was nice. The sounds of laughter and conversation filled the room and Dean could remember family dinners when they were kids; Bobby and the boys, sometimes their dad or Ellen and her daughter Jo all crammed into the small room together. He smiled at the memory and felt his chest fill with warmth. 

Cas was laughing, his head tipped back and the crinkles around his eyes more prominent than ever. Dean loved to watch him laugh, really laugh because he was beautiful and he always radiated such joy in those moments. Sam too was shaking his head, his long hair brushing against his cheeks as he grinned. Jess snorted and covered her face with one hand. 

Dean could get used to this. 

“So Cas, I gotta ask man, what was up with the whole werewolf thing when you guys met? Dean said it was a prank but I don’t get it. You didn’t even know him.” Sam said as he speared a bite of his salad and brought it to his mouth.

Dean’s heart picked up speed and his stomach twisted as he tried to ignore the urge to kick Sam under the table. 

Cas didn’t even flinch. 

“That was my brother’s fault actually. Gabriel thought it would be a fitting punishment for you two if we pulled a prank on you. I am not easily swayed but that day I was and then Gabriel bailed on me at the last moment. I tried my best but as you probably heard, the joke didn’t exactly work out how Gabriel had intended it too. Though, he still thinks it’s one of the best pranks he’s ever concocted – mostly because it embarrassed me so badly.”

“Is he your older brother?” Sam asked.

Castiel nodded. 

Sam glanced over at Dean. “That makes sense then. I’ve done a lot of stupid things just because Dean said they were a good idea.” 

Cas and Jess both snickered into their drinks. 

“Hey, asshole, when did I ever make you do something stupid?” Dean asked, annoyance eclipsing his earlier fear. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Camping on Cas’ property for one.” 

“Shut up, that doesn’t count.” 

“Asking out that girl Ruby in the eighth grade.” Sam said, pointing a finger at Dean across the table. 

“You didn’t tell me she was in high school!” Dean said.

Next to him, Dean could feel Cas’ shoulders shake as he tried to suppress a laugh. 

“Laugh it up chuckles. What about you? What dumb stuff did Gabe convince you to do?”

Cas wiped a hand across his eyes and took a drink of his beer. “He convinced me to come down in one of mother’s dresses once. I must have been seven or eight years old. We were going to church and he hoped the distraction would make us late enough we wouldn’t have to go.”

Dean cracked a smile as he imagined a young, gangly Castiel in a sundress. “What happened?” 

“Mother let me wear it. She said it brought out my eyes.” Cas said, fluttering his eyelashes in Dean’s direction. Dean laughed. “I got lots of compliments that day. Gabriel was beyond annoyed.” 

“Your parents didn’t care?” Jess asked. 

“No. They were always pretty accepting of us. Gabriel is a very loud, chaotic type of person, always had been, and I think it made them more flexible in general. When I came out in middle school, they didn’t even blink.” 

“I wish dad was like that.” Sam said. He picked at the label of his beer bottle absently. 

“He wasn’t so bad, Sam. He didn’t kick me out or anything – not that Bobby would have let him. And he came around eventually.” Dean took a deep swallow of his own beer and tried not to think about his father. Cas’ hand found his thigh under the table and settled there, the heat of his palm soothing Dean’s mind. 

“What about you Jess, any siblings?” Cas said, expertly moving the conversation along. Dean glanced over gratefully and Cas’ hand squeezed his leg in acknowledgement. 

Dean felt his chest fill with warmth at the gesture. Cas was always looking out for him, since day one really. Dean was a caretaker by nature, and by circumstance, but the idea of letting Cas watch over him wasn’t unpleasant. He held onto that feeling for a moment, basking in the simple joy of it before returning to the conversation.


	15. Chapter 15

They stumbled through Cas’ front door. Cas pressed him against the hallway wall and kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling away. 

“You really think its ok that I left?” Dean asked a little breathless. He felt a small twist of guilt even as he said it. 

“Yes, Dean. It’s fine. You said Sam told you to leave, remember? They were going to bed anyway and as long as you’re back” he leaned in, sucking kisses across Dean’s jaw and causing him to shiver, “before they leave in the morning, you won’t miss anything.”

Dean sighed as his head fell back against the wall. Sure, Sam had told him to go, had begged him to actually – saying that he’d rather not have to listen to their reunion sex – but Dean was still the older brother and a part of him felt like he should have stayed. Cas grasped Dean’s chin and titled his face down until they were looking each other in the eye. 

“You could go back, or we could. I don’t want you to feel bad.” He said. His eyes were a mixture of sincerity and concern. Dean sighed again, focusing on Sam’s words; He’d also said that he thought Cas was a great guy who obviously made Dean happy. Looking at Cas now, Dean could definitely agree with that. 

“Wake me up fifteen minutes early so we can stop for breakfast in the morning?” he said, feeling his guilt fading. 

Cas grinned, a brilliant gummy thing that lit up a place inside Dean’s chest and made his heart skip. “Of course, Dean.”

Cas manhandled him down the hall, both laughing and pulling at each other’s clothes. When Dean’s legs finally hit the mattress he was shirtless and Cas was rapidly removing his pants. Dean pulled Cas’ button up down his arms, fumbling with the cuffs for a moment before getting them open. Cas’ jeans were next. Dean watched with a wolfish grin on his face as Cas peeled them off, stopping to flex and relax his calves in order to get the pants over them. 

“God you’re hot.” He said stupidly but Cas just smiled at him and climbed onto the bed. 

His black boxer briefs were not leaving much to the imagination and Dean eyed him appreciatively. This aspect of their relationship was still so new that even just the sight of him in his briefs got Dean more than a little excited. 

Cas pushed Dean’s knees apart and tucked himself between them. He mouthed over the tent in Dean’s boxers as his hands roamed Dean’s hips and thighs. Dean gasped at the sudden pressure of Cas’ mouth and the scratch of cotton against his erection. When Cas’ hands dipped into the edge of his waistband, his hips jerked involuntarily and Cas snickered. 

He pulled Dean’s boxers down, lifting one leg and then the other to remove them fully. Dean hissed at the cool air as it hit his cock and let his head fall back onto the mattress. Cas’ mouth kissed and sucked hot trails up his thighs, stopping to suck a mark into the junction of his hip. Dean groaned at the sharp sting and then the wet press of his tongue over the affected area. Cas kissed the softness of Dean’s belly as he took his cock in hand and stroked it loosely, pulling another groan from Dean’s throat. 

“What do you want, Dean?” He asked. His voice was husky and just the sound of it sent a thrill through him. 

“You, Cas. Just you. Whatever you want.” Dean said, lifting his head to watch Cas’ reaction.

Cas looked thoughtful, his hand still stroking loosely and sending soft waves of heat up Dean’s spine. 

“I want you to fuck me.” He said finally. “If you’re amenable.”

Dean groaned brokenly and let his head fall back once more. “Yeah, Cas. I’m amenable.” He said. He almost laughed at Cas’ vocabulary even in a situation like this but then Cas’ mouth was around his dick and his mind couldn’t finish the thought. 

He suckled at the head, swirling his tongue before pressing forward and hollowing his cheeks. Dean panted harshly, small grunts and moans falling from his lips. He tried his best to keep his hips still but one particularly hard suck had him bucking upwards. Cas moved with him, already an expert at reading Dean’s body, and after another moment he pulled away smoothly.

“Dean, my nightstand, top drawer. “ He said. 

Dean took a moment to process the words. His mind was spinning and couldn’t catch his breath. 

“Dean.” Cas said, tapping his hip with one hand, “the drawer. Lube and a condom, please.” 

Dean scrambled up the bed then, digging in the nightstand and grabbing what they needed. When he looked back, Cas was on his knees, naked, one hand wrapped around his cock. He was beautiful. 

Dean dropped the supplies, clambering forward to grab Cas’ face in both hands and pull him into a kiss. “Fuck, Cas.” He said between harsh presses of his lips. Cas chuckled into his mouth and shoved at his chest, toppling him back onto the mattress.

He straddled Dean’s waist, Dean’s cock snug against his backside. Dean’s hands fit around his hips, rubbing circles with his thumbs as Cas picked up the lube and squirted some on his fingers. Dean pouted a little but Cas just smiled at him. 

“Next time.” He said. 

He reached behind himself and arched his back. Dean groaned long and low as he watched. Cas’ head tipped back, the long line of his throat leading to his chest, all toned muscle and tan skin, was enthralling. Dean ran gentle hands up, thumbing across his nipples and causing him to jerk. Cas bit his bottom lip, hips churning softly, wrist bumping against Dean’s cock every so often. 

Minutes later, Cas was reaching for the condom and tearing the packet open with deft fingers. He smiled at Dean, just a small quirk of his lips, before reaching back and rolling it on, slicking it with the lube still left on his hand. Dean watched; mesmerized, his heart hammering against his ribs with anticipation. 

“Ready?” Cas asked. 

Dean nodded, his hands finding Cas’ hips again. Cas lined himself up and pressed down, slowly at first and then in one big push, all at once, until his ass was snug against Dean’s pelvis. He moaned, a deep sound that was quickly becoming one of Dean’s favorites. Dean echoed him, the tight heat of Cas’ body was overwhelming and his eyes closed involuntarily as he tried to steady himself. 

Cas’ hand came down, his palm flat on Dean’s chest as he started rolling his hips in small circles. 

“God, Dean. I knew you would feel good but this-“ He rocked his hips forward and back, his hand tensing and nails biting into Dean’s skin, “This is amazing.” He finished. 

Dean forced his eyes open and caught Cas smiling at him again, his blue eyes flashing. He lifted himself up, the muscles in his thighs flexing attractively, before sliding back down. He started out slow, building speed and finding a rhythm. Dean, for his part, just held on and watched with rapt eyes. 

Cas was gorgeous. 

Dean ran reverent hands over him even as he felt the warm coil of heat building in his gut and trailing up his spine. Cas made the most beautiful noises; groans and grunts and little punched out _ah ah ah’s_. Dean couldn’t get enough. 

Way too soon for his liking, Dean felt himself coming apart at the seams. 

“Cas, baby, ah fuck, I’m close.” He babbled. 

He wrapped his hand around Cas’ cock, stroking quickly, and not bothering to match Cas’ pace. He keened under Dean’s hand, his hips stuttering. 

“Dean Dean Dean” Cas chanted, his words coming out in breathless pants. 

Dean groaned and leaned up, dragging Cas down into a kiss. “Come on Cas. Come on baby. Let go.” He whispered against Cas’ lips. He trailed his mouth down Cas’ neck, sucking at the sweat slick skin. 

Cas nodded his head frantically. His hips were rolling now, grinding against Dean’s and when Dean started to stroke him again, tight and with a twist on the end, Cas came, spilling over Dean’s fingers. His whole body spasmed, jerking forward. The sudden clench of him was too much and moments later Dean fell over the edge too, coming with a shout. 

They collapsed in a heap. Cas curled up against Dean’s chest breathing harshly. He ran soothing hands up and down Cas’ back and across his sides. 

One he regained his equilibrium, Dean pulled himself away and headed to the bathroom to clean up. He came back with a washcloth and found Cas sprawled lazily across the bed on his stomach with his face smashed into a pillow. It was a strange mixture of cute and hot that made Dean’s dick twitch with interest. 

“Come on, Cas. Let me get you cleaned up and we can go to sleep.” 

Cas grumbled but complied and a minute later Dean was sliding under the covers with him. Cas immediately rolled towards him, tucking one leg up and over Dean’s and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, pushing the unruly strands away from his face. Cas sighed, his whole body relaxing. 

Dean stared at the pristine white ceiling, listening to the steady rhythm of Cas’ breathing, and let his mind wander. Sam had been right. Cas did make him happy, happier than he’d been in a long time actually. Even in California, he had had girlfriends but they never made him feel like this; he was never this content. He tried to imagine the end and decided that he couldn’t. The idea of Cas going back to just being his friend or worse, something less than that, was too painful to comprehend. His heart clenched at the suggestion, aching in a way that made him rub his chest with his free hand. 

“Hey Cas?” he said softly, both wanting to talk but also not wanting to wake the other man. 

Cas hummed a sleepy reply. 

“Can I ask you something?”

Tired eyes blinked open at him, squinting to focus. “Is everything ok?” Cas asked. 

“Yeah.” Dean said. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Cas’ forehead, “I just –“ he stumbled over his words and stopped to take a breath. “Can we make this official? Boyfriends or whatever?” He felt his cheeks heat up immediately but resisted the urge to look away. His heart picked up speed as he waited. 

Cas smiled at him, a sleepy thing that was no less brilliant for its tiredness. “Yes Dean, I think I would like that.” 

Dean grinned, tipping Cas face up and kissing him. The kiss was equal parts sweet and chaste and made the warm spot in his chest grow. He was falling for the man, that much was certain.


	16. Epilogue

_\--Two Years Later--_

Cas climbed out of his car, smiling when he noticed someone had shoveled the front walk – probably Dean. Arms full with grocery bags, he hobbled his way to the front door and managed to shoulder it open. 

He unloaded the bags onto the kitchen counter and followed the sounds of rock music into the basement. AC/DC’s Back in Black was playing at full volume from the small stereo they had set up downstairs and when he made it to the basement level he saw Dean on a ladder against the far wall. His faded t-shirt rode up, exposing a strip of his lower back, over jeans that hugged his ass perfectly. Cas’ fingers twitched at the sight. 

He crossed the room, calling Dean’s name but obviously not being heard over the music. He turned the stereo down as he passed it and Dean’s head whipped around. 

“Hey baby!” he called, a grin breaking out across his face. He held a cordless drill in one hand and a small black device in the other. “Look what Sam sent us!” 

Cas raised an eyebrow and Dean clambered down the ladder. 

“So a couple of weeks ago I told him we were thinking about getting a dog,” he started.

“Wait. Where is he?” Cas said, realizing he hadn’t been met at the door or noticed the dog as he came in. 

Recently they’d gotten a new neighbor who had started complaining to Jody about howling on their property and Dean had suggested getting a dog to help mask the noise and give them an alibi. They had adopted the one year old husky two weeks ago from a shelter. He was sweet and cuddly but still young and full of mischief. He and Cas were just beginning to warm up to each other but the dog, named Bruce after Springsteen, and Dean were almost inseparable.

“He’s in his kennel. We took a walk and then I put him up so I could do this without him taking the damn ladder out from under me.” Dean said. “Can I finish?” 

“Yes, sorry.” 

“Anyway, so I was telling him about Bruce and he started gushing about this wireless camera set up he and Jess have for Bones. Long story short, he sent us one as a Christmas gift!” 

“And you’re putting it up in the basement, why?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “For the wolves, duh. I had Charlie secure the connection or some shit, so that we can tape the wolves tonight and see what they do. Aren’t you curious? I mean, I know we get glimpses and everything but I want to actually see them.” 

Cas smiled at Dean’s enthusiasm and the excited look on his face. He felt his own curiosity blooming. He wrapped one fist in Dean’s shirt and tugged him closer, slotting their mouths together with practiced ease. Dean made a surprised noise but quickly melted into the kiss. 

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Cas said after breaking away. Dean looked dazed, his lips shiny and pupils dilated. “I don’t know why Gabriel and I never thought of it.”

Dean shrugged. “Dunno. I told Gabe earlier and he seemed on board.” 

Castiel sighed. “Has he left his room at all?” 

“Not that I saw but I wasn’t watching him all day or anything.” 

Gabriel had woken them up in the middle of the night two days ago. He had all his stuff in bags at his feet and a partially finished bottle of coconut rum in his hand. Kali had broken up with him, again, and kicked him out, again, and so he’d moved back in, again. 

This happened every six months or so and it always took a few days for Gabriel to bounce back. After the second time, they stopped cleaning out his room and instead, just shut the door and left it as is each time he moved out. 

“I got those cinnamon roll things he likes and a coffee cake for the morning.” Cas said. He had his arms looped loosely around Dean’s waist, his fingers trailing in lazy circles across the warm skin of his back. 

Dean hummed appreciatively. “Awesome.” He said, “Pie?” 

“Yes. I got you a pie.” 

Dean grinned again, his eyes crinkling at the edges, before leaning in for another kiss. “Ok I love you but I gotta finish this so I can get dinner started.” He said as he pulled away. 

Cas nodded. “I guess I should go check on Gabe. Make sure he’s not passed out or something.”

Dean looked thoughtful for a moment. “Can the wolves be drunk? Like, if Gabe was hammered when the change happened, would the wolf be stumbling around and puking everywhere?” 

Cas’ nose wrinkled at the suggestion and the mental image it produced. “I don’t think so. As far as I can tell, the wolves have a higher metabolism – it’s how they can eat a deer and we don’t wake up with swollen stomachs – so it would probably burn the alcohol off fairly quickly.” 

“Huh.” Dean said. He stepped up onto the bottom rung of the ladder. “Bummer for the wolves, I guess. But good to know.” 

Cas smiled. “Oh, and I love you too.” He said.

Bruce followed him down the hall to Gabriel’s room. It was dark and quiet, filled with stale air that smelled faintly of alcohol and strongly of body odor. Bruce lifted his nose, sniffing curiously when he opened the door. Castiel grimaced as he entered. There was a shapeless lump in the middle of the bed that he guessed was Gabriel. He poked at the lump and received a groan in return. 

“Come on Gabe. Why don’t you hop in the shower? You’re beginning to smell.” Castiel said. He jostled the lump again with one outstretched hand. 

It moved and Gabriel’s greasy hair poked out, followed by his forehead and squinting eyes. 

“Go away.” He said. His voice was muffled by the comforter. 

“No. Tonight is the full moon; I know you can feel it. You need to get up, shower, and then come eat. Dean is about to start cooking.” 

Gabe heaved a heavy sigh and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Come on, Gabriel. It’s been two days and we’ve left you alone. Tonight, you have no choice but to join us.” 

“Yeah yeah.” Gabe said. One hand came up and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He sighed again, rolling onto his side dramatically and groaning. “Fine. I’ll get up. Now go away.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes. 

“Leave the mutt.” 

AC/DC was back at full volume when he reached the kitchen and he hummed along as he put away the groceries. The turn and having Gabriel in the house had necessitated a second shopping trip this week but Cas didn’t mind. He actually liked having the house full. 

He was standing at the sink drinking a glass of water when strong arms wrapped around his waist, startling him. 

“Sorry,” Dean said as he chuckled, “didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” 

Cas leaned back into the embrace. Dean’s chest was warm and solid behind him and he dipped down to mouth along Cas’ neck. Cas smiled, leaning his head to the side to give Dean more room. Dean planted small kisses and nips to the sensitive skin, making goosebumps break out down his arms. 

“You taste good.” Dean mumbled into his ear. “Maybe I should just have you for dinner instead of cooking.” 

Cas’ cock jumped in his jeans at the suggestion, the burn of arousal washing over him. 

“Somebody likes that idea.” Dean said, practically purring in his ear. Cas could picture the smug look on his face. 

“Tease.” He said, twisting in Dean’s arms to face him. “If my brother wasn’t here,” he lowered his voice as he let his eyes trail down Dean’s torso. 

Dean swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing and licked his bottom lip. 

“I really thought there would be less staring once you two kids hooked up.” Gabriel said. 

Dean rolled his eyes and let his forehead drop softly forward to connect with Castiel’s. Cas just smiled. 

“Thank you for showering.” He said as Dean broke away and headed for the fridge. Cas could smell the difference from here and was, in fact, grateful for it. The wolves had even more sensitive noses than they did and he really didn’t want to subject them all to Gabriel’s break-up stink. 

Gabe was wrapped up in a throw blanket and hunched in a kitchen chair, his damp hair hanging around his face. He’d let it grow out recently and now it reached just past his chin. Dean mocked him for it almost as bad as he mocked Sam. 

His face was sad and pitiful and Cas felt sorry for him. No matter how often they broke up, it was obvious that Gabe loved Kali. Cas wondered if the two of them would continue on this way forever or if they would eventually figure it out once and for all. He glanced over at Dean, who was shaking his hips and tapping his foot as he stirred something on the stove, and felt a wash of happiness. He sent up a little prayer to whoever was listening thanking them for bring Dean into his life. 

He handed Gabe a beer and his brother took it with a short nod of acknowledgment. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Gabe shrugged. “Not really.” 

“Ok.” 

They sat in silence, broken only by Dean’s humming and occasional off-tune singing, until dinner was finished and Dean placed healthy portions of spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread, and mixed vegetables on each of their plates. 

Cas dug in, sighing happily around his first bite. The sauce was robust and flavorful, with hints of red wine, basil, and crushed red pepper. Dean smiled at him as he drug the crust of his garlic bread around his plate, mopping up remnants. Even Gabriel seemed a little happier by the end of the meal – his clean plate was a definite indication that he’d enjoyed the food at least. 

When they finished, they puttered around the house a bit; Castiel threw Gabriel’s sheets in the laundry while Dean took Bruce outside again. He could hear Dean’s laughter through the windows. 

They all piled into the basement an hour later, leaving Bruce in his kennel for the night. 

\------------

The next morning Cas woke up slowly, snuggling closer to Dean warmth. They had added central heat to the basement earlier that year but he still appreciated Dean’s furnace like qualities. Dean kissed the top of his head, his arm tightening around Cas’ waist. 

“Morning sunshine.” He mumbled. His breath stirred the hairs on the back of Castiel’s neck and made him shiver. 

“Good morning, Dean.” 

They took their time waking up, as was their custom these days, but eventually they rose and made the trip upstairs. 

Clad in fresh pajamas, they all crowded around the computer while Dean pulled up the feed. Gabriel was working his way through his third piece of coffee cake and seemed to be in good spirits. 

“Dean-o, I gotta hand it to you, this was a great idea.” He said, with a mouthful of pastry. 

The feed eventually popped up and they all watch their black and white images come down the stairs, strip, and lay down on the pallets. Dean fast forwarded until they started to move again. 

The change was slightly different for each of them, and even obscured by blankets, Castiel could see the pain in all of their features. He knew what the change felt like but he’d never actually seen it from the outside. He had never paid attention or watched while Gabriel or his father did it either, always too caught up in what was happening to him. 

He saw his hand reach out and grip Dean’s, the tendons in his arm flexing taut as he squeezed. He watched as the shape of his hand changed, the bones dislocating and shrinking, the tendons sliding around under the skin. The lump under the blanket that he knew was his body also changed, growing larger and smaller in succession. Dean’s hand grew fur first, dappled and golden, it sprung forth quickly covering his reshaping hand in the blink of an eye. 

Next he could see Gabriel on his side, his legs churning and back bending he guessed by the shape of the thin blanket he was under. He slumped down, only to rise up moments later and step out from under the fabric. He was almost completely changed, though his fur was still patchy in places and his knees looked wrong somehow. He took a step and they popped, if the expression on his snout was anything to go by. He shook himself, like a dog with wet fur, and began sniffing the ground. 

His own wolf appeared then, shaking off the comforter covering him and stepping into the room. His face was halfway between human and wolf and Castiel grimaced at the image. On screen, his wolf shook his head once as his snout elongated fully and was covered with fur. He blinked rapidly and then turned his eyes to the camera. Even through the black and white image, Cas could see the clarity of his irises and understood more fully why Dean had been so intimidated during their first encounter. 

Dean crawled out from under his blanket last, coming to all fours and bumping his side against Cas’. They slid against one another, each sniffing along the others fur. 

In the room, Dean took Cas’ hand, glancing over to smile at him softly. 

On the screen, Dean stopped to lick his face and bat playfully at his nose with one paw. Cas’ mouth fell open, tongue hanging out as he head butted Dean in the shoulder. 

Gabriel was out of frame for a few minutes. The camera angle wasn’t large enough to cover the entire room, but when he stepped back in, his snout was dark and dripping. 

The wolves played for a while, chasing each other and pulling the blankets around. Gabriel’s wolf was the first to flop down on his pallet, turning in circles and adjusting himself. To Castiel, it looked like he positioned himself a certain way between the pillows and he shook his head. Apparently, Gabriel had been right all these years. 

Cas and Dean followed each other around the room, playfully nipping at one another’s paws and tails. At one point, Cas’ wolf pinned Dean’s to the ground, holding him there until Dean whined and Cas let him up. 

Gabriel snickered at that and slapped Dean’s arm. “So apparently you’re whipped as a wolf too.” 

Dean glared at him. 

When they eventually settled down, Dean’s wolf curled protectively around Castiel’s. Like he had seen so many times before, Cas watched as his wolf began cleaning Dean’s snout and ears. Dean’s eyes slid shut, his body shaking with a heavy sigh. 

“You two are gross.” Gabriel mumbled through another mouthful of coffee cake. 

They watched as Cas’ wolf settled down too, eventually laying his head on top of Dean’s, his eyes sliding closed. 

Dean fast forwarded again and they watched the quick, jerky movements of the wolves as they slept. Gabriel’s wolf inched closer to the others until he was pressed alongside them, his tail covering his snout, his butt firmly against Cas’ side. 

Dean hit play quickly when the wolves started moving again. Gabriel sat up first, perking his ears and letting loose a howl, his face upturned. Cas was next; ears swiveling and body tense. Dean lifted his head but didn’t move. 

“I wonder what that was about.” He said. Next to him, both brothers shrugged. 

The wolves settled down again in a large overlapping pile. 

Dean hit fast forward. Hours later, they started moving. The shift this time was in full view of the cameras; their bodies contorted with jaws snapping and eyes like slits against the pain. Cas had to look away and even Gabriel set down the last of his breakfast. 

When it was over, their human selves covered their shivering bodies with blankets. Cas and Dean faced one another, eyes glassy and unfocused, and Cas held Dean to his chest. Gabriel spread out on his pallet, arms and legs thrown wide. 

Dean stopped the feed then and they sat in silence for a while. 

“Damn.” Dean said finally. He blew out a harsh breath and leaned back in his chair. 

“Yeah.” Gabriel said. “That was a trip.”

“Indeed.” Cas added. He took Dean’s hand, twining their fingers together. 

“Can we agree to never do that again?” Dean asked, his tone only half joking. 

“Yes.” The brothers said in unison. 

“Though it was cute when Gabriel came over to snuggle with us.” Dean teased, bumping Gabe’s knee with his own. 

Gabe rolled his eyes. “At least I had the good sense to move away before we all ended up in a weird incesty dog pile in the morning.” 

Castiel’s face scrunched up and he glared at his brother. “Don’t be gross. Even if we did wake up together –“ he started but both Dean and Gabe cut him off with a laugh. 

“You’re too easy, Cassie.” Gabe said. He yawned and stretched as he stood. “I’m going back to bed.” 

After he left the room, Dean turned to face Cas. 

“Apparently our wolves are just as big of saps as we are.” He said. He pulled Cas’ hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles.

“Yes. Actually, my wolf cleaned yours like that one of the first times we changed together.” Cas said. Dean’s eyebrows rose, “They knew before we did, I think.” 

“Well I’ll be damned.”

**Author's Note:**

> on Tumblr [DestielTrashland](http//destieltrashland.tumblr.com)


End file.
